A Stargate Carol
by Captain-Doctor
Summary: Sam falls ill and whilst in the infirmary embarks on a journey that will change her life. Confronted with the many truths she is unwilling to face, what will she do when, or if she wakes up. (Rating changed for last chapter)
1. Feeling Ill

A/N So um as far as I can tell this is going to be a BLATANT rip off of A Christmas Carol...personally I think the best version of this is The Muppet's TV movie..but anyway I apologise if this idea has been done, I also apologise to the MGM folks and to Charles Dickens. But I am not making any money so please don't sue me. No spoilers to date but maybe in future chapters.

Shanks-Away!

CaptainDoctor

Monday Evening  
  
SG1 and General O'Neill sat around the briefing room. The de-briefing had been going along smoothly, but Sam Carter was itching to get out of there and get home. Her were eyes barely staying open as she sat at the table and she had an unsettled feeling in her stomach.  
  
"The Alayan people are somewhat behind in regards to the technological side of things however they look like they could be the equivalent of the 1930's of earth in the next five years." Daniel said.  
  
"Good times..."Jack said airily.  
  
"I think the most fascinating thing would be that unlike almost every civilization we have come across, these people have a lot of things that are simply for fun. We watched the local people put on a play, one person was creating different form's of musical intrume...."Daniel was cut off by Jack.  
  
"Carter, are you feeling alright?" Jack asked her.  
  
"Yes Sir, a little tired. Must be gate lag or something." She replied as confidently as she could.  
  
"Well I'd say we can follow up our offer to assist the people of P3M 698 with...whatever you promised them sonn enough. Having said that, I want you all to take tomorrow easy because come Wednesday afternoon you leave for you week of fun to P7Y 921. Carter could I see you for a minute, you two, dismissed." He said gesturing to Daniel and Teal'c.  
  
"What can I do for you Sir?" Sam asked as the other two left.  
  
"Firstly, at ease, I can feel the tension in your back from here, secondly, are you sure everything is ok?" His concern was obvious, normally he would not be so affectionate, but Sam knew they brought out a protective vibe in one another.  
  
"Yes Sir, why do you ask?"  
  
"You looked a million miles away that entire meeting..." Sam opened her mouth to come to her own defence when Jack signalled her to let him continue. "I am not reprimanding you for it Carter don't worry. Truth be told I could only tell you half of what Daniel said during that meeting."  
  
"Half Sir?" Sam asked with a grin.  
  
"Ok a third" Jack replied. "My point is, it's not like you. If something is bothering you, my door is always open."  
  
"Thank you Sir." Sam said, a little taken back by his openness. "I think I might just be coming down with something."  
  
"Get yourself down to the infirmary right away. And maybe take a personal day tomorrow. The base commander won't mind, considering you have saved his ass countless times before."  
  
"Thank You Sir." Sam turned to leave the room when a sudden wave of dizziness hit her full force causing her knees to buckle. The sudden sharp pain Sam felt in her stomach caused her to cry out loudly forcing Jack to look in her direction. He managed to make to her and catch her just as she lost consciousness in his arms.


	2. We Wait

"Sergeant Get in here NOW!" Jack yelled. His assistant was standing at the door to the briefing room.  
  
"Sir!" He said looking concerned.  
  
"Call the infirmary and tell them I am coming in with Colonel Carter and she just lost consciousness. And call Daniel and Teal'c tell them to meet me there, GO!" Jack scooped Sam up into his arms and began to run as fast as he could towards the infirmary.  
  
He arrived to an already bustling infirmary and was swarmed by a group of Medics who took Sam and lowered her onto a gurney where she was rushed to an isolation room.  
  
"What can you tell me?" Doctor Brightman asked Jack.  
  
"She was walking out the room and she cried out in pain and passed out. She was on her way here, said she felt like she was coming down with something." Jack said trying to see them as they began to hook Sam's still form up to various machines.  
  
"And what about the blood did she hit her head?" She asked.  
  
"What blood?" Jack asked. The doctor looked down out his chest causing Jack to do the same. "Jesus! No I have no idea. She did not hit her head." Jack stared down at the large wet dark crimson patch on his jacket. Doctor Brightman returned to Sam's side.  
  
"Ok I want a full blood screen and prepare and MRI. Samson start preparing room 4 we may need to open her up."  
  
"WHAT!" Jack screamed.  
  
"General Sir, if you could please wait outside this is going to take some time. I will let you know as soon as we find something."  
  
Jack backed out of the room slowly unable to take his eyes off her. A hand on his arm brought him back to reality.  
  
"Jack what the hell is going on we were just told Sam was unconscious." Daniel said.  
  
"She was leaving and she passed out. I have no idea what happened."  
  
"Well did he say she felt sick or had she mentioned being unwell..."  
  
"I DON'T KNOW DANIEL!" Jack screamed. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath Jack regained some of his composure. "Sorry. I don't know what happened."  
  
"Did she injure herself O'Neill?" Teal'c asked gesturing to the blood on his shirt.  
  
"I don't know I think she started to bleed on the way here, I carried her."  
"So we wait?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Yes we wait." 


	3. The White Room

A/N- Wow I was not sure about this but if you want more I am more than happy to keep it going. I apologise for any inaccuracies in this chapter, factual or storyline based. Please correct me if you see any! I also apologise if I hurt anyone's head with this, I know when I went back and read it I had no idea what I was talking about. I hope it tells you a little bit more about where this story is going.

This is going to be Sam and Jack eventually. I mean what else do I write lol! Yes Pete will be mentioned but so will MANY other characters...and I will not let the fact I want to marry Peter, Michael and David DeLuise get in the wayof this...much! As I said I am not to upset about Sam getting another boyfriend, I just hate what TPTB have done to her character in regards to him. ANYWAY  
  
Please do not sue me MGM I promise to put the toys back just the way I found em!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor.  
  
Something wasn't right. She could feel it. The pain Sam had felt no longer ran through her body, in fact she felt great. Something wasn't right.  
  
"Hello?" She called out. She was in a plain white room, no doors or windows visible and she could not hear or smell anything. It was white. Sam felt the slight increase in her pulse as she became more and more uneasy with her situation. Her mind started going through all the possibilities.  
  
'Ok,' she thought out loud '1, I'm dead, and this is some sort of limbo. 2, I'm hallucinating, I am in the infirmary and this is some fever-induced dillusion. 3, I'm dreaming. Well it could be worse, could be standing in front of a crowd naked.' She thought, a small grin crossing her face.  
  
"You are neither of those things." A voice said.  
  
"Hello!" Sam called out.  
  
"Hello Samantha." The voice said again.  
  
"What the hell is going on?" She asked the voice. "Who are you?"  
  
"All will be revealed in good time, but I assure you, you are very much alive, and you are safe here. You are in no danger." The voice told her. For some reason Sam felt compelled to believe it.  
  
"So I'm alive?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes Samantha, but you are very sick. Nothing a good rest, and of course, your doctors won't cure." The voice told her.  
  
"But I feel fine." Sam argued.  
  
"You may feel fine but you are in fact ill. You are being treated as we speak." Voice said.  
  
"Then how am I here?" Sam asked.  
  
"You are not here in the physical sense of the word. More your essence is."  
  
"My essence? Right ok, well I would like to go home then if that's all the same. I prefer my essence to be with my body, makes it easier to do...well everything." Sam replied.  
  
"Samantha, you would not be here if you did not desire it." The voice told her.  
  
"I do not desire to be here, I don't even know where here is. And who are you for that matter?"  
  
"You always were too curious." The voice told her with a small laugh.  
  
"Well can you tell me anything?" Sam asked in annoyance.  
  
"Well in your language, this is the space time continuum...All that is predestined to occur and events that take place originate from here."  
  
"WHAT?" Sam asked in a voice of disbelief.  
  
"We are the makers of all that shall be."  
  
"That's impossible. Things do not originate from here, things evolve, grow, need certain conditions..."  
  
"Samantha! Let me put it in a way that may be clearer to you. We are similar to what you would call a data base, of every living and inanimate object. The path of a person, animal, or a simple garden flower is all stored here."  
  
"This is unbelievable." Sam said shaking her head.  
  
"Indeed it is a hard concept to grasp."  
  
"Our idea of the continuum is something a little different to this. It has never been described as a white room in theories. It is space..." Sam was at a loss for words.  
  
" A misconception, which your people will later learn the truth about." The voice said.  
  
"So let me get this straight, you keep track of the timeline of EVERYTHING...so you have planned what I am going to do when I am faced with a decision. What if there are multiple outcomes for the decisions someone makes?"  
  
"They are planned as well. Alternate realities I believe you are referring to. The are worked here as well."  
  
"How?" Sam asked. "How is possible to control the millions of worlds from one area."  
  
"Well Samantha. It is not as you think. They operate from here as well. Everything is essentially the same being, it just depends on which choice your physical manifestation makes that determines how many realities you cross into. You are in many Samantha, like most. However there are some things that simply exist in a handful of realities." The voice told her.  
  
"Wow. This is a lot to take in. But that explains why there is an effect when two...manifestations emerge in the same reality. It should not happen at all, there should be no cross-overs. That would also so mean that a choice I make could create a reality...everything up to that point would be exactly the same until that scenario came to pass. Hang on...you said my essence is here. How can it be if my essence is in every world? Why do I have only my memory." Sam was trying to wrap her mind around the concept.  
  
"You are correct on all counts Samantha. The effect of failure of the physical manifestation when they cross into another reality is something we hate to inflict on someone. But an essence is not capable of maintaining two manifestations on the one 'path' it is simply against the natural order. We were forced to begin this infliction when what you call the quantum mirror was created. It was to serve as a warning. We took no pleasure in the suffering of those who travelled through the mirror but we could not run the risk of someone crossing into a world in which they existed and perishing before their time."  
  
"Kind of like a failsafe. I guess our curiosity is a downfall." Sam said.  
  
"Indeed. But how else are you to learn. Believe it or not my people were once the same."  
  
"So my memory?" Sam asked again.  
  
"Close your eyes." The voice told her.  
  
Sam shut her eyes and was instantly flooded with a thousand images. Places and faces she had never seen but some how knew. Memories of things she had never done but somehow she had.  
  
"WHOA!" Sam said, her eyes flying open.  
  
"You see? The knowledge is there, we protect you from it. The mind would not be capable of holding so much."  
  
"So I know the memories of this reality because..."  
  
"It is this physical manifestation that has allowed you to come here."  
  
"Right. So would this be happening to any other versions of me?"  
  
"No. But that has no bearing."  
  
"Right." Sam said trying to contain her confusion.  
  
"It is ok to be somewhat un-eased Samantha, your mind is very young." The voice said.  
  
"Out of curiosity how old are you? How old is the mirror?" Sam asked.  
  
"Older than your mind is capable of comprehending Samantha."  
  
"Try me." Sam said.  
  
"Very well. The race you call The Ancients, they were here long ago yes?"  
  
"Yeah...Millions of years ago."  
  
"How do you believe the first of them came to be?"  
  
"Well...we don't know. We just assumed they were the first form of being to evolve from cell matter. Then afterwards other species, animal, plant humanoid all evolved. The Ancients ascended and we are the second run of the humanoid evolution. We don't know if any other beings have ascended of run their course and started again. But this is all speculation. We have no proof." Sam said.  
  
"Well Samantha, you are close. I will not go into detail, but I will inform you that you are not the second time that the "humanoid", as you call it, form as come to pass."  
  
"We're not?" Sam asked in a mix of sadness and confusion.  
  
"No, you are in fact, the third."


	4. Important

"Jack you should really eat something, you've been here a long time." Daniel said as he joined him by Sam's bed.  
  
"Later." Jack said softly not looking away from her sleeping form.  
  
"I can stay with her if you want to go grab a shower or something. She won't be alone if she wakes up." Daniel tried to sound as casual as possible.  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Just after two?"  
  
"PM?" Jack asked.  
  
"AM Jack. You've been here about 13 hours." Daniel said lightly.  
  
"Oh. Hope no one called."  
  
"Davis is taking calls. And the red phone hasn't rung so there isn't anything important you've missed." Daniel said.  
  
"I really couldn't care." Jack mumbled.  
  
"Jack I know Sam means..." Daniel was cut off by Jack raising his hand up.  
  
"I don't want to hear it."  
  
"She's going to be fine Jack." Daniel tried to sound as reassuring as possible but he was doubting his own words.  
  
"I guess I should get some sleep." Jack said. Daniel half expected him to leave but Jack simply walked over and pushed the empty bed next to Sam's over so there was about half a meter between them. Daniel said noting as Jack jumped onto the bed and rolled to his side so he was facing her.  
  
Jack had been asleep for an hour when Doctor Brightman came in.  
  
"Dr Jackson...what's going on?" She asked looking at Jack.  
  
"I told him he should get some rest." Daniel answered her.  
  
"Right, well I guess it's better than a chair."  
  
"And he is the commander of the base and Sam is one of his best friends so this is nothing." Daniel added.  
  
"So I can expect to see him here a bit until Colonel Carter is back on her feet?" She asked.  
  
"Not just him." Daniel told her.  
  
"I have some of the preliminary test results back." Brightman said.  
  
"Anything you can share?" Daniel asked.  
  
"I want to do some more tests. But things are looking better."  
  
"Forgive my bluntness but Sam is unconscious. How is that looking better?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Well we have ruled out some of the more serious possibilities. Right now my main concern is her fever. If it gets any higher, it could cause any number of problems. So right now that is what I am focusing on."  
  
"What about the bleeding?" Daniel asked.  
  
"That is something I would like to discuss with Colonel Carter."  
  
"Doctor if I know Sam, and I do, she would want us to know to save her going through the pain of telling us. This way we can focus on supporting her. Tell me please." Daniel pleaded.  
  
"In all honesty I can't. My duty as her doctor prevents it..."  
  
"DOCTOR! Did Sam miscarry or was it something else?" Daniel almost flipped his chair up as he stood. Everyone in the room was stunned to see the normally placid man get so worked up so quickly.  
  
"Come into my office." Brightman said walking away.  
  
"Excuse me?" Sam asked in disbelief.  
  
"You heard correct Samantha. You are in fact the third time this species has come to be. You are destined for great things."  
  
"That's impossible. There is no way that we the same species could evolve three times in the same form, same cellular structure...there is just no way." Sam said.  
  
"Why not Samantha?" The voice asked.  
  
"Because we...humans have...it just..." Sam could not form a logical thought. Her mind was reeling at this knowledge.  
  
"Open your mind Samantha. Your race is destined for great things. And whilst you may not see it, you will play an important role for the billions that do."  
  
"If what you're saying is true, that is not going to happen for millions of years. How could I possibly play any part in that?" Sam asked.  
  
"You do not believe that you are significant in the outcome of your race? That you and your fellow team members will not play a vital role in this plan?" The voice asked.  
  
"No, Any contributions we make will be forgotten, upgraded, proven wrong...It's not possible."  
  
"After everything you have seen you still deny this? After what you have witnessed with your own eyes you cannot accept this as fact?" The voice asked in surprise.  
  
"I just don't see how I could be that significant."  
  
"Then maybe I am not the one who should show you."  
  
"Who then?"  
  
"Someone you trust." Sam felt a sudden change as someone was instantaneously in the room with her. Sam turned slowly to see who was now with her. Sam felt her heart lurch and managed to catch her breath after a few seconds of staring at the figure in front of her.  
  
"Mom!" She gasped. 


	5. What does love matter?

A/N Thank you for the nice reviews so far, I honestly thought this would fall flat on its bum so yay for muse. MGM I know I said I would put the toys back but I just need to play with them for a little longer. Um any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated all though I know I have not really established much yet. I am going to try and make this a pretty solid chapter for you all but I am having an emotional breakdown at the moment so I apologise if it gets a little too intense. And I was not sure if they have actually said Sam's mom's name on an episode...Elizabeth seems to be a common choice but I decided to use another.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
"Stop It!" Sam cried out closing her eyes and shaking her head to try and get rid of the image. "Don't do this please."  
  
"Samantha." A soft voice said.  
  
"No you're not my mother she is gone." Sam said backing away fighting off tears.  
  
"Samantha," the voice said again, "look at me." Sam lifted her head slowly and locked eyes with the person in front of her.  
  
"You're not real." Sam whispered.  
  
"Yes Sammy I am, I'm very real." Sam gasped as she felt a soft hand touch her cheek.  
  
"Oh god mom..." Sam wrapped her arms around the woman who looked more like her sister than her mother, but she was exactly as Sam remembered her. The soft blonde hair similar to her own hung around her shoulders, and her eyes were a soft blue grey. Sam was so overwhelmed she barely knew what to say. She even smelled the same.  
  
"Oh Sammy I've missed you so much." The woman said in her ear.  
  
"I've missed you too." Sam said stepping back, tears now freely running down her face.  
  
"Look at you, I always knew you would grow up to be beautiful." Her mother said.  
  
"Stop it mom." Sam said looking away. The two women sat up on the table Sam had woken on.  
  
"I have so much to say to you, I don't even know where to begin." Sam said taking her hand.

"I know how you feel. I've been watching you and your brother for years now and have so much I want to ask you, want to tell you."

"Have you seen everything?" Sam asked.

"I wouldn't say that. I saw the important things. I saw you graduate highschool. I saw you get through the Acadamey. I saw your neice and nephew be born." There was a long silence before the woman continued. "I saw you save your father and reunite everyone. I'm so proud of you Sammy. You have no idea how much."

"Dad misses you still, I don't think he'll ever stop." Sam said.

"And thanks to Selmac it's going to be a while before I see him again." Her mother said softly.

"You know about...of course you do, you know it all.

"Yes Sam. And I am so happy you are part of it. Not many know just how much is out there. But I am glad you do."

"I am too mom. So what's going on? Why am I here?" Sam asked.

"My darling, we have a while yet. But sadly this is not just a catch up visit. I am here for a purpose, and we have a lot to do." She said.  
  
"Do? What can we do? We are in an empty room." Sam said.  
  
"I need to show you some things." Her mother said. Before she knew it Sam and her mother were standing in the middle of a park. A large swing set and jungle gym was filled with children screaming and laughing, another group were playing basketball and various families. But something was wrong. It looked like Sam had travelled back in time at least 40 years.  
  
"Where are we? When are we?" Sam asked.  
  
"My favourite place and time in any world." She said with a smile. "We're about an hour outside of San Jose, and it's 1959." She said.  
  
"Why am I here, I'm not even born yet." Sam said puzzled.  
  
"No, you are another 7 years away. But you need to see this. Look over at near that group of bushes. No one can see us, go take a closer look." The two moved over to where her mother directed and Sam could have sworn they floated and not walked over. When they got there, Sam found herself looking at two people oblivious to the world around them. The man was resting against a tree stump with his legs stretched out and his eyes closed. His armed was wrapped around the woman resting against him, who herself was engrossed in a book.  
  
"They look happy." Sam said.  
  
"They are." Tamara said.

"Who are they?" Sam asked.

"Don't you recognise them?" Tamara asked. Sam looked at the two, realising she had not bothered to look at their faces yet.  
  
"Oh my god...dad!"  
  
Jacob was young, and barely recognisable, but her mother was unmistakeable, she looked just like a young Sam.  
  
"Watch." Her mother said.  
  
Sam focused on the two just as Jacob opened his eyes.  
  
"Tamara?" Jacob said.  
  
"Yes Jacob" She answered, her eyes not leaving the book.  
  
"Put the book down a second would you." He said playfully. Sam grinned, that could be General O'Neill speaking to me, she thought.  
  
"What is it Jacob?" Her mother asked turning to face him.  
  
"I love you. That's all." Jacob said leaning back and closing his eyes once more. The young apparition of her mother gave a soft chuckle and kissed the young Jacob on the forehead before going back to her original position and her book.  
  
Jacob took hold of Tamara's hand forcing her to read with only one. She was once again so lost in her book she did not notice Jacob playing with her fingers. It wasn't until she brought the hand in front of her face to turn her page that she saw something on her finger that had not been there the last time she looked. Tamara let out a loud gasp as she looked at the ring that was now on her finger.  
  
"Is that a yes?" Jacob asked. Tamara spun around wildly so she was facing in front on and threw her arms around his neck.  
  
"Of course that's a yes!" Tamara said through the few tears in hers.  
  
Sam herself was crying now.  
  
"I can't believe you never told me that story." Sam said.  
  
"You never asked. I bet you did not think your father was so romantic." Her mother said.  
  
"No, I had no idea." Sam said with a smile.  
  
"I wanted you to see this for a good reason Sam. I wanted you to know how pure the love you were born into was." Tamara said.  
  
"I know you and Dad loved each other. He always told me." Sam said.  
  
"But as a child, you don't understand it. Now here, as a woman, you should be able to grasp it better. See how important it is. Can you see it? Can you feel how wonderful it can be?" Tamara asked her.  
  
"Yes I can."  
  
"That is what I am here to help you find my Samantha." Her mother said.  
  
"What? This whole thing is to show me true love?" Sam asked with a sarcastic laugh.  
  
"Don't criticise it Sam, you are not so sure what you are talking about when it comes to love, and you can not deny that you have made a few mistakes. You can rewrite the laws of physics but the human heart is one machine you are yet to figure out." Her mother said with a smile.  
  
"Who hasn't? But hey, I have found love, I am geting married." Sam said defensively.

"Ah yes, Pete." Tamara said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked.

"It means nothing, he is a good man. But the question we are here to answer is, is he the right man?" Tamara said.

"Of course he is. He is wonderful, he cares about me, he knows what I do...how is that not right?"

"It's not me asking the question Sam."

"You sound like Oma De Sala or Shifu."

"No they would say something like, one brave enough to ask a question may not be brave enough to answer one." Tamara replied with a grin.

"You know Oma...oh never mind....I don't know what finding true love has to do with anything. What bearing it has on the universe." Sam huffed.

"I can't believe you think like that." Tamara said in slight horror.

"Come on mom, sure something is more important than that?" Sam asked.

"You will soon see. But first you have to keep an open mind. I'm not here to judge or scold you Sam. I'm here to show you were you went wrong."

"Wen't wonrg?" Sam asked.

"In love in the past."

"I dont see how that is important, rmaking me relive things I have probably forgotten for good reason." Sam said in hurt tone.

"It is important Sam. Can you tell me why?"

"So I don't make the mistakes again?"  
  
"Yes! But also to show you some things were not your fault." Her mother said.  
  
"And that is important because this has to do with the future." Sam said in disbeliefe.  
  
"Right! Come on, were done here." With another wave of her hand, Tamara had the two women travelling again. When Sam could finally see where they were she could not help herself.  
  
"Oh shit!" 


	6. What's wrong with her

A/N So I am trying to get this out as fast as I can, without rushing it, I am trying to make this thing a rather involved piece. All my others have been kind of tiny...anyways. I think you know where I am sort of going with it now. Let's just see what comes hey! To keep you on track- Sam was rushed to the infirmary around lunchtime, it is now about thirteen hours later, around 2 o'clock Tuesday morning.  
  
5 more minutes MGM I promise!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
Daniel sat across the table from Dr Brightman in her office.  
  
"Doctor Jackson, I normally would not discuss a patient in this manner but seeing as it may be the best course of action to inform you I will go against my better judgment. Colonel Carter did not miscarry. She was not pregnant, she would not have been going through the gate if she was, not until I did a full examination." Dr Brightman said.  
  
"Then what is wrong?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Colonel Carter's MRI showed a slight anomaly. Now after a closer look," the doctor stood up and slid a large film into the light box on her wall, "we found a massive cyst had formed in the lining of Major Carter's uterus. Now most of the time, a cyst is harmless. They can stop growing when they are no bigger than a pea, or they can grow very large and need to be removed."  
  
"How big was Sam's?" Daniel asked.  
  
"About the size of a golf ball."  
  
"So how has that made her sick?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Well, the surrounding membrane and soft tissue has been slowly bleeding for any amount time, we can never know, but I would say three days at least, and it finally haemorrhaged. Colonel Carter has also shown high amounts of toxins in her blood, a result of this form of internal bleeding."  
  
"Blood poisoning?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Basically, caused by a massive infection. Further test will confirm this. Normally this would not happen, the bleeding can cause a lot of pain but the fever, the build up of these toxins, makes me believe Colonel Carter has not been feeling very well for a while but did not tell anyone. The problem is, with Colonel Carter's unique body chemistry, we can only hope that these toxins will not have an adverse reaction to the other organisms in her blood."  
  
"Her physical after the mission didn't show this?" Daniel asked trying not to sound angry.  
  
"You left 11 days ago, there was nothing in the test results to indicate a problem. Her post mission work came in just as General O'Neill informed us of her condition. Bad timing on all counts." Dr Brightman replied.  
"So what now?"  
  
"As I said we are trying to break her fever, administer antibiotics. After we have the final results in we will be able to work out a firmer course of action."  
  
"Like what?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Blood and plasma transfusions, try to rid her body of all toxins. And tomorrow we would like to perform exploratory surgery to assess any damage done. We removed the cyst and surrounding damaged and infected tissue. However we have to make sure it is all gone. Dr Jackson the amount of damage this has caused already, and if the infection is still present...I am concerned we may need to perform a near total hysterectomy. If that's the case..."  
  
"Sam will never have children." Daniel said sadly.  
  
"She has her father listed as her next of kin..."  
  
"He's unreachable. They tried to get in contact but as far as they can tell he has gone to ground...he won't be reached till he wants to be found." Daniel told her.  
  
"Well we believe it is in her best interest to perform the procedure, however in the event that Jacob is unable to consent..." She flipped through Sam's file searching for what Daniel already new.  
  
"It's Jack." He said softly.  
  
A/N Back again: My explanation of what's wrong with Sam is basically true as far as I can tell, something similar happened to a family member of mine (although sadly was pregnant at the time) I tried to make it as accurate as possible. Please correct me any medical people out there! 


	7. The Full Story

A/N Well I am glad this is coming across as I intended it to, thank you so much for all the lovely reviews, you are so sweet! So I am thinking about a hundred different things I won't to put in this...does anyone have an objection to Pete getting hit in the face haha!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
"Why are we here?" Sam asked her mom.  
  
"The scene of the crime." Her mom said.  
  
"Toby Conners." Sam said with smile.  
  
The bustling corridor was exactly as she remembered it. Lockers lined the walls on both sides, the groupings separated by various doors. The water fountain had a line of people waiting to use it. Three girls in cheerleader uniforms stood in a small circle gossiping, another group of girls stood on the opposite side of the hall glaring at the cheerleaders with a look of disdain and envy.  
  
Sam took in the scene and was over come with the feelings of nostalgia. She remembered being here like it was yesterday.  
  
"You were such a pretty girl." Her mother said.  
  
"More awkward, painfully shy, bored with the curriculum from second grade and constantly getting in trouble for not paying attention and then being able to prove the teachers wrong." Sam replied. Anything else she went to say was silenced when she saw a familiar blond figure coming down the hall.  
  
The girl was average height, had white blonde hair and large blue eyes. Samantha Carter, age 15.  
  
Sam watched herself walk up to a brown haired boy about the same age as she was then.  
  
"Hi Toby." She watched herself say quietly.  
  
"Uh, hi." The boy replied.  
  
"You left this in the library, I was trying to find you this morning but you weren't around." She said handing him a notebook that had more doodles and squiggles in and on it than actual notes.  
  
"Right." He said taking the book form her.  
  
"So, um there is this Picnic Day this weekend for the local Air Force families. It's pretty fun for what it is, a lot of food, games and stuff. I was wondering if you'd like to come. My dad could pick you up and drop you if it's a problem..."  
  
"Ah no thanks...thanks for the book." Toby slammed his locker and walked off leaving Sam standing there. Adult Sam felt that same familiar sting as she looked up to see the cheerleaders snicker and share a giggle just as her younger self did.  
  
"I wanted to talk to you that day." Sam said quietly.  
  
"I know baby, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Her mother said taking her hand.  
  
"It's not your fault. I came home and started making pies. I must have done about six by the time dad got home."  
  
"You got that from me. I used to bake whenever your father made me angry."  
  
"I could never make cookies after you..." Sam couldn't finish the sentence.  
  
"I know, you wouldn't eat them or months either." Her mother said.  
  
"When Dad came home and asked me what was wrong, he didn't understand. He was happy, said I should be focusing on my school work, that I was not going to get into NASA by chasing boys."  
  
"He didn't know better Sam. He was never good with matters of the heart, you know that."  
  
"He was too busy dealing with Mark...or not dealing with Mark to be truthful." Sam said.  
  
"He did his best Sam. But it was hard, and Mark did not help. You were both growing up so fast, you were so quiet and Mark was getting into all sorts of trouble. You were something he couldn't control, and that is a horrible thing for a hardened military man, even worse for a father."  
  
"I know, and I don't fault him for anything, but he still couldn't open up after you died."  
  
"He was grieving. And he was scared." Her mom said softly.  
  
"Scared of what?" Sam asked.  
  
"Losing you as well." Tamara replied.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"My death was a very harsh reminder for him Sam. You were not invincible. He was always torturing himself over the thought that it was so easy to lose me, it would be so easy for the same thing to happen to you and Mark."  
  
"He never said anything." Sam replied.  
  
"He never would." Tamara said with a sigh. "So back to this, Toby Conners was an may have seemed harsh, but in the grand scheme of things he made the right choice." Tamara said.  
  
"Embarrassing me in front of the most horrible girls in school was the right choice?" Sam asked with a laugh.  
  
"No Sam. You were never able to get the full story. Toby's grandfather had been very sick and they were going to visit him that day. He passed away that night and if he had gone to the picnic with you, he would not have got to say goodbye." Tamara said softly.  
  
"I never knew, I just assumed he thought I wasn't worth it."  
  
"Actually, he was very fond of you. He wanted to go but he knew that being with his family was important, and afterwards you avoided him and he never had the courage to just come and tell you. He was like your friend Jack in a lot of ways." Tamara said, Sam's tried to hide her reaction to the mention of him.  
  
"How so?" Sam asked as calmly as she could.  
  
"Well, had been able to be open up, he would have told you the truth when you asked him. But he was very private and did not know how to appraoch you."  
  
"What happen to him?" Sam asked.  
  
"Oh the girl who sat two rows back form him in college would not take no for an answer when she asked him to coffee. They have two sons and he is a successful psychologist." Tamara told her smiling.  
  
"Good for him." Sam said.  
  
"So what have we learned?" Her mother asked her.  
  
"I still don't like cheerleaders."  
  
"Sam!" Tamara said with a chuckle. "Why do you think I showed you this?"  
  
"Boys are like bikes, keep riding them till you find the right one..." Sam said with a cheeky grin.  
  
"Excuse me Samantha, I am still your mother here. You have spent too much time with Jack O'Neill. Anyway, the point of this was to show you that you shouldn't take things at face value. Humans are strange, male humans even more so, and if you just accepted things as the way you saw them, you may miss something wonderful." Tamara.  
  
"This was just a fancy way of telling me not to judge a book by its cover." Sam said smiling.  
  
"Pretty much! Had enough of high school?" Tamara asked.  
  
"Oh yeah." Sam said. 


	8. You're Lucky

A/N- Well this is so stunning...thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I am going to give you a good chapter now....potential spoiler warning for some about Affinity and maybe some more season 8 but should not be too bad.  
I am trying my best with that because I don't want to alienate any readers.  
Please enjoy and review... I love them all...oh and thanks to those who have reviewed a few times!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
Tuesday 7:30am  
  
"Jack, Jack, wake up." Daniel said as he shook Jack's shoulder. Daniel had found Jack in the same position that morning he had left him in earlier, asleep in the bed next to Sam, his body tuned towards her. "Jack, come on wake up." Daniel said shaking his friend harder.  
  
"Whoa...oh...hey." Jack said sleepily.  
  
"Morning. I brought you a coffee." Daniel said handing him the coffee as Jack sat up.  
  
"Thanks Daniel." Jack said taking the cup form him. "How's she doing?" Jack asked.  
  
"Oh, about the same as far as I can find out. Dr Brightman wants to talk to you about some things, and I think I should call Pete." Daniel said cautiously.  
  
"Yeah, probably. His number is in her office." Jack told him, trying to keep the resentment out of his voice.  
  
"I'll give it a few more minutes then try. It's still pretty early. How are you feeling?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Like I hate infirmary beds." Jack said stretching his back.  
  
"Jack..." Daniel tried again.  
  
"Daniel, don't." Jack answered in a tone that left no room for interpretation.  
  
"You know you don't have to be a stone, it is ok to show you are concerned, we are all worried about her." Daniel said moving over to Sam's side.  
  
"Right." Jack said looking towards Sam face.  
  
"I'm going to go call Pete." Daniel said. He looked at Jack in one more vain attempt to get him to open up but soon realised it was not use. Daniel said a quick hello to Dr Brightman as she walked in and went to find Pete's number.  
  
"Good morning Sir." Brightman said to Jack.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"How's our patient doing then huh?" Birthman asked herself as she looked over Sam's chart and vital signs.  
  
"Any news?" Jack asked.  
  
"Well her fever has levelled off. It's not great but at least it is not rising any more. That could be a sign that her body has finally been able to start fighting the infection." Brightman said.  
  
"Daniel said you wanted to speak to me about some things." Jack said.  
  
"Yes, if you like to come into my office." Brightman said leading the way.  
  
Jack sat across the desk from the doctor unsure what to say, assuming he was having the same reaction to the news Daniel had. His mind was racing, unable to focus on one single thought, instead an array of outcomes were playing themselves out in his head. Sam waking up and giving the consent herself, him giving the go ahead for the surgery and Sam not making it, Sam losing her ability to have children and resenting Jack, Sam coming through the surgery fine. He was hoping the last one was most likely.  
  
"I understand this is a hard decision." Brightman said.  
  
"That's one way to describe it." Jack said rubbing his hands over his face.  
  
"Sir, I understand you need time, but from a medical point of view, it is time Colonel Carter does not have. If there is any bacteria that was able to infect more tissue after we had finished the first surgery, it is killing her as we sit here, and the chances of needing to perform the hysterectomy are becoming higher."  
  
"So you would advise me that the surgery is in Carter's best interest." Jack asked.  
  
"I would. If her fever had gone down I would have been willing to wait another twelve hours but I can't suggest that with the current state she is. I could order another round of blood tests to see if I can determine the level of toxins in her blood. That might show something that will help you with the decision."  
  
"How long will that take?" Jack asked.  
  
"Basic form with a rush, and hour or two." Brightman answered.  
  
"Do it." Jack said.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"It'll give her fiancé time to get here." Jack replied.  
  
"If your sure." Brightman said standing up.  
  
"Yes doc, I'm sure. Now if you'll excuse me I have some things to take care of."  
  
"I'll call you as soon as we have the results Sir." Brightman said.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
After a shower and shave Jack had worked some of the kinks out of his back. As he sat at his desk, trying to get some of the pile of paperwork that had accumulated since the night before taken care of, his mind kept wandering back to her. He could not imagine the ear that he had felt when she collapsed. To be injured or compromised in battle was one thing, you went in expecting the worse, these were the kind if things that shook you to the core.  
  
As he signed his name for what felt like the 1000th time that morning, his concentration was broken by a soft knock on his door.  
  
"Come in." He said. The sight of Daniel greeted him as he looked up.  
  
"Hi Jack, security just called, Pete is here." Daniel said.  
  
"Have an airman escort him to the conference room on level 8. We can go to the infirmary after that."  
  
"Sure." Daniel said turning to leave.  
  
A few minutes later Jack and Daniel waited for Pete in the room. A knock on the door soon ended the wait. Jack moved and opened the door to find a very frustrated looking Pete, who looked ready to lay into the airman that was escorting him.  
  
"General O'Neill." Pete said extending his hand. "Dr Jackson." The three shook hands and Jack motioned for Pete to sit.  
  
"So what's going on, Dr Jackson said Sam was hurt, can I see her, or is this to let me know that I should water the plants because she is going to be in here for a while?" Pete said lightly.  
  
"She's unconscious." Jack said.  
  
"WHAT?" Pete screamed as he jumped up.  
  
"Detective Shannahan, please sit." Jack said, trying to use some authority to calm the man. No such luck.  
  
"Excuse me! Daniel you told me to just come in this morning and that everything was fine! You told me everything was fine!" Pete said slamming his fist on the table.  
  
"HEY!" Jack said standing up. "You are lucky we even called you at all. I was well within my rights to leave you sitting at home wondering where she was without a single word. You count yourself lucky your little surveillance stunt got you clearance. Most family members just get to worry themselves sick." Jack said. By the end of the rant he was breathing hard. "Now either you conduct yourself in a manner that is acceptable of I will have you removed form my base, is that understood?" Jack said, daring Pete to question. Knowing Jack was not bluffing, Pete sat down and took a deep breath.  
  
"I'm sorry General. But you can understand where I'm coming from. I thought she might have taken a bump to the head and need a ride, or she had been stuck off world and had sent a message or instructions for paying her gas bill or something. I did not think she was in a coma." Pete said.  
  
"I guess I should apologise for that. I didn't want you to get in an accident speeding down here and hurt yourself or someone else." Daniel said. Pete offered him a small smile.  
  
"So what is wrong with my Sam?" Pete asked. Jack had to stop himself from retching at the sound of him saying 'my Sam'.  
  
Jack and Daniel explained the situation to Pete and when they had finished it was obvious Pete was trying not to cry.  
  
"So she could die?" He asked.  
  
"Well we are trying not to think like that. As we said her fever has not risen in six hours, and she is not showing signs of organ failure, another major concern." Daniel said trying to inspire some hope in the man.  
  
"So we have to wait?" Pete asked.  
  
"Well there is one more thing." Jack said.  
  
A/N..hehehehehehe Me so mean! 


	9. Not Your Call

A/N- So I would not that to you lol!!! Here is the next bit!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
"You are kidding me right?" Pete said looking from Daniel to Jack and back again.  
  
"You think I would kid about something like this?" Jack said.  
  
"Well you can't be seriously thinking about this! I won't allow the surgery." Pete said.  
  
"That's not your call. And it is not definite yet. We have to wait for the test results before a decision is made." Jack said.  
  
"Well how long is that going to take?" Pete asked.  
  
"Hopefully not too much longer." Daniel said.  
  
"You can't risk her ability to have children General. Can you imagine what will happen if she wakes up and finds out she cannot have children?" Pete asked.  
  
"This is not easy, but we have to think of saving her life." Daniel said.  
  
Jack looked over to Daniel, surprised at the level of calm he was displaying. Jack was finding it hard not to jump out of skin as he sat there.  
  
"Well as her fiance, I am saying she would not want the surgery, she wants to be a mom. Call in her father and he will tell you." Pete said.  
  
"Jacob is unable to be contacted until we receive word form him." Daniel said.  
  
"Tell me Pete, are you thinking about her life or your future?" Jack asked.  
  
"Jack...." Daniel said in tone of concern and question.  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Pete said sitting up.  
  
"Well it just seems that you have not taken in the fact that Carter's chance of full recovery is much greater than if she does not have the surgery." Jack said.  
  
"You think I don't realise that?"  
  
"You sound more concern about you being able to have children than actually saving your fiance." Jack spat at him.  
  
"Jack!" Daniel said again.  
  
"Now hold on a god dam minute Jack! You think I am that selfish, you think I want her to be sick? Well that's not it at all, what I want is for her to be able to have a life outside one day, away from this god damn mountain... away from you." Pete said, his eyes narrowing and focusing on Jack.  
  
"Oh please..." Jack muttered.  
  
"I'm surprised you can say it Jack. Actually call her MY fiance." Pete continued.  
  
"Detective..." Daniel said.  
  
"Grow up." Jack muttered.  
  
"You might want to try and get a life of your own Jack. Stop living in the fantasy that you and her ever had something." Pete said leaning back.  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE..." Jack was about to give Pete what fourth when a phone ringing cut them off. Being the only calm one in the room Daniel picked up the receiver.  
  
"Dr Jackson. Yes they are. Yes, you do oh good. Ok then. Thank you." Daniel hung up and looked at the two men. "Sam's tests results are back, Dr Brightman is expecting you."  
  
Without saying anything the three men stood up and began to walk towards the door when Pete stopped.  
  
"You said it wasn't my call about the surgery," Pete said "whose is it?" he asked.  
  
Without saying anything Jack looked at Pete and told him everything he neded to know with a look.  
  
"I've should have known." Pete muttered as he left the room following Daniel. Jack walking slowly behind. 


	10. Mother

A/N; I am on a role! I have so much I should be doing but you know who cares!!! Spoilers for Singularity- season one. This is a little depressing, but I was kind of going for a 'beautiful sadness'. Please excuse the quality of these chapters, I plan to do an edit and repost soon!  
  
Shanks-Away  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
"I love it here." Sam said to her mom. The two were in a park near Sam's house, both sitting on a swing. The two watched a group of children playing in a sandbox. Sam felt the familiar pang of envy, that she could only presume was caused by her biological clock ticking.  
  
"You want one?" Tamara said.  
  
"What?" Sam asked coming out of her dream.  
  
"You want a child, or three..." Tamara said.  
  
"God, I can't imagine. I always wondered how you did it. How you took something so helpless and fragile and made it into a person." Sam said.  
  
"For some, it takes practice and for some lucky ones, it's a second nature." Tamara said.  
  
"I have that same dream most women do. You hear women who talk about the strong connection between them and their child and that there is nothing like it. I think it would be pretty amazing." Sam said.  
  
"It is." Tamara said reaching out and squeezing her arm softly.  
  
"Did you ever think you could not do it?" Sam asked her mother.  
  
"Sometimes. But then other times I thought it was something I was born to do. I would see they way your brother would be mesmerized by every truck he saw, or how you would lie on the grass and watch the stars come out until I told you to come in side. And then you and your father would sneak out again anyway." Tamara said laughing. "I'd see that and think I must have done something right to have these two precious gifts."  
  
"What was the hardest part?" Sam asked.  
  
"When I knew I would never get to be with you again." Tamara said in such a soft voice Sam barely heard it.  
  
"Oh god mom." Sam reached out and took her mothers hand.  
  
"I'm sorry. I just remember it so clearly. I was not in any pain, and that's how I knew that something was wrong, I thought I should have been able to feel something. But I felt so light. It was when I saw myself laying on the road that I knew something was totally wrong. I tried to go to myself but I couldn't, it was my time. And I remember thinking, please just let you two be ok, that's all I ask. If I was a good enough person to allow me a lasting trait, it was that you and Mark would be safe."  
  
Sam listened to her mother talk about the last moments of her life and felt and odd sense of remorse and comfort. She was sad that it happened, but it was comforting to know that it was not a horrible experience for her.  
  
"I don't know if I am strong enough. Knowing what the colonel went through with Charlie, it seems like something I am not capable of." Sam said still holding her mothers hand tightly.  
  
Before Sam could see anything she saw herself and Daniel walking along each holding the hand of a much younger Cassie. The two were swinging the girl as they walked along. Just as fast as it had appeared the image faded again.  
  
"You have the ability in you Sam. You know it."  
  
"No I really don't know." Sam said.  
  
"Think back Sam. You locked yourself in a room with a child that you believed was going to kill you, just so she would not be alone. And you have been a wonderful influence on that girl. You have it in you Samantha." Tamara said.  
  
Sam wiped a stray tear from her face. "So where are we now, I mean I know where this park is but what time are we in, what world?" Sam asked.  
  
"Your world, present time." Tamara answered.  
  
"So I could go and see the guys?" Sam asked.  
  
"No, I'm sorry, you can't. This is something you need to do on your own Sam."  
  
"So what next?" Sam asked. She heard her mother take a deep breath and prepare herself for the words to come out of her mouth.  
  
"Washington DC, 1995." Tamara said.  
  
"That was two years before I joined the Stargate program. What could you have to show me from then?" Sam paled as she put the place and time together.  
  
"I'm sorry Sammy, I don't want to but I have to." Her mom almost whispered to her.  
  
"No I won't go, you can not make me go through that again. I learned enough already!" Sam said getting up and walking away.  
  
"Sam you have to, I don't want to but it is important that you learn all you can."  
  
"There is nothing I can learn from going back there, nothing." She hissed.  
  
"Baby, I was there the first time as well, I saw it, and the last ting I want to do it put you through it again but please believe me it is important."  
  
"Don't expect me to look." Sam said as she took her mothers hand. 


	11. The Right Choice

A/N- This may be the last one for tonight. I have not watched an episode of Stargate today and am in withdrawal. You know how it is. Oh I forgot to mention. I am going to pretend that the episode Threads (which will hopefully be the episode we have all been waiting for!!!!!) is not going to happen. Just to clarify. Could someone who is brutally honest please tell me if I am writing the characters wrong? Dialogue wise that is. I need to know  
  
Shanks-Away  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
Tuesday 10:35am  
  
"Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news." Dr Brightman said to the four of them. Teal'c had joined them in her office.  
  
"What information do you have concerning Colonel Carter?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"It seems as if her fever has dropped, now it is only minimal, but it is a good sign." Dr Brightman said.  
  
"The bad news?" Pete asked.  
  
"She's bleeding again. Now I have no idea if it just residual blood, the clotting has thined..like when you wet a cut, another cyst or worse case scenario, she is hemorrhaging again."  
  
"Oh no..." Daniel said looking at the floor.  
  
"Well what can we do?" Pete asked.  
  
"We know what we do." Jack said before the doctor could respond.  
  
"I wasn't talking to you." Pete said.  
  
"Well I am talking to you." Jack almost growled.  
  
"I have to suggest that we get her in for surgery right away. I highly doubt we will be able to treat her effectively without it." Brightman said trying to calm the room.  
  
"Do it." Jack said standing up.  
  
"You can't!"  
  
"Oh yes I can. I will not sit back and watch a good officer and my friend die knowing that I could have done something to stop it. Pete you are not my concern. Go see Carter then get off my base; you are officially banned from the Chyenne Mountain Complex. I am going to suggest to Carter when she wakes up that she not ask me to revoke that." Jack slammed the infirmary door as he left.  
  
"Come on." Daniel said. "I'll take you to her." The two walked off in the direction of Sam's bed.  
  
"Is he always like that?" Pete asked.  
  
"Only when he knows he is right. And from past experience he usually is. He is a good man. He has done a lot for us, a lot for Sam."  
  
"Oh I'm sure." Pete said.  
  
"Yeah, if I were you I would probably cool it with that kind of talk. He gets a little edgy and it could create a lot of problems." Daniel said.  
  
"Just call it like I see it."  
  
"Well be advised that calling it like you see it could cost Sam her job if someone believes it." Daniel told him. He was beginning to feel some of Jack's frustration.  
  
"So your saying I am totally wrong in my assumption that he has a thing for Sam, some unrequited obsession that is lucky it did not get them both killed." Pete said.  
  
"No, but you are totally wrong in saying that it has been unrequited. And that it was a strike against the team, it probably saved them more than once." Daniel said. Pete had to fight to keep his jaw from hitting the floor.  
  
"I don't believe it. You really think that he could be anything to her. He is nowhere near good enough for her. Aside from the age difference, the emotional baggage alone would drive her away." Pete said.  
  
"I think it's safe to assume that you know nothing about his emotional baggage and that is one area you really don't want to touch." Daniel was definitely feeling the annoyance now.  
  
"Please Daniel, Sam may be a little unsteady on her feet when it comes to dating but she has some taste in partners." Pete said.  
  
"Not from where I'm standing." Daniel said under his breath.  
  
"How can you defend him so readily?" Pete asked.  
  
"When you have seen the things I have seen, and when you have a man like Jack O'Neill in your corner, you can not help but defend him. He has done a lot for me and I owe him many thanks." Daniel said with a hint of little brother pride in his voice.  
  
"Yeah well good luck with that. Do you mind if I have a few minutes alone?" Pete said pointing to Sam.  
  
"Sure." Daniel said backing out of the room right into Jack. The smile he was wearing showed he obviously had heard what he said.  
  
"Don't think to much of it Jack I was just trying to shut him up." Daniel said. Jack slapped him on the back.  
  
"Spacemonkey I never know you cared." Jack said with a smile. "How long should I give him? Jack asked.  
  
"As long as you would want." Daniel replied.  
  
"I don't have that long." Jack said looking down at the floor.  
  
"Just give him a few minutes." Daniel said.  
  
Fifteen minutes later Jack quietly entered the infirmary and went to the side of Sam's bed.  
  
"Come to kick me out?" Pete asked.  
  
"Come to tell you that she has to go in now, but I have arranged a room for you to wait in and that there is coffee and whatever else you want available in the commissary." Jack said. "The rest of SG 1 would like a minute." Jack said motioning towards Daniel and Teal'c who were waiting by the door.  
  
"Sure." Pete said getting up.  
  
"Pete," Jack said, "This is the right thing."  
  
"Who are you trying to convince Jack? Me or yourself?" Pete replied. He placed a small kiss on Sam's forehead and made his way past Daniel and Teal'c and left the infirmary.  
  
Daniel and Teal'c stepped forward, each taking a side of the bad and taking one of Sam's hands in there own.  
  
"I look forward to serving with you soon Colonel Carter." Teal'c said bowing his head.  
  
"You'll be good Sam. I know it." Daniel said kissing her fingers. The two stepped back to allow Jack to come forward. As he reached her side he gave them a look that could not be misread. The two walked out to give him some privacy. Jack watched her still form for a while as he held her hand. Her skin was clammy from her fever and her hair was damp from sweat. The flush in her cheeks would have normally been quiet fetching, but under the circumstances Jack did not find it so appealing.  
  
Not knowing what else to do, and seeing that he was indeed alone, he leaned in a placed a soft kiss on her lips.  
  
"So help me Carter," he whispered, "you better wake up from this, because if you don't, I'll be right behind you."  
  
A/N- OMG I made my self all depressed! 


	12. The Light in You

A/N- Sister is watching a movie so here I am. Just a warning to everyone this chapter is going to be very dark and very sad...I think. Having said that please give it the chance to illustrate it's point and keep reading.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor.  
  
"You can't wear that it looks worn out." Came a gruff voice form behind her.  
  
"I bought it yesterday, for tonight, it is brand new." She said quietly.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Nothing. What would you like me to wear?" She asked him.  
  
"The lilac one. And shave your legs again and moisturize, I don't want you to wear stockings." He said leaving the room.  
  
Sam watched her younger self fight back the tears as she pulled of the brand new black slip dress she had bought the day before. It had an intricate beading pattern around the top, which was a halter-neck style and the skirt came to just above her knee. She saw herself pull the dress off roll it into a ball and shove it in the back of the dresser, trying to stop the tears so she would not damage her makeup.  
  
As Sam watched herself, she no longer felt helpless, miserable or weak as she did then. Watching the scene she felt nothing but pure unadulterated rage. She glared at the scene in the bedroom as Jonas came back in, ogling her as she stood in her underwear. Both Sam's shuddered as he wrapped his arms around her and placed his hands over her chest, kneading her breasts. Young Sam did not respond to the touches. Once she had. There had been a time when she enjoyed this, now she endured it.  
  
He began to kiss her neck and slowly displace her underwear. Sam had to turn away from them. She could not watch herself go through this again.  
  
"Jonas, you're dressed and I have showered." She tried to sound playful.  
  
"So, you can have another." Jonas said continuing.  
  
"I don't want another," She said trying to pull away. As soon as she moved she felt the grip tighten around her and his fingers start to dig into her arms.  
  
"You can have another, you can't start something and not finish it." He said pushing her on to the bed.  
  
"Jonas no!" Sam said trying to find some of her military courage. Sam tried to get up but was pushed forcefully back onto the bed. When she tried to get up again she felt the sharp sting on her cheek as his hand whipped her face. She let out a small whimper.  
  
"Come on Captain Carter, you know this is what you wanted when you took the dress off." Jonas began to kiss her neck and removed her underwear.  
  
Knowing fighting back was useless she allowed him to continue, the mascara she had applied soon running down her cheeks with the tears.  
  
Older Sam turned away form the scene unable to watch. She had already lived it. She wouldn't again.  
  
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Her mother whispered.  
  
"Who could I tell? The ranking officers would not have believed me and Dad and Mark would have killed him." Older Sam said.  
  
"You should not have had to go through that." Tamara told her as she pulled her into a hug.  
  
The scene changed as the two stood embracing. Younger Sam was in the toilets at the Pentagon, looking at herself in the mirror. She had lost so much weight. The night before, Jonas had told her she looked like a preying mantis. Sam had walked upstairs and made her self throw up the small amount of dinner she had manage to force herself to eat.  
  
She looked in the mirror and found herself agreeing with him. Her uniform hung loosely on her and her hair was brittle and dull. She looked like she hadn't slept in a year.  
  
Older Sam could not believe that she had let herself get to that stage. She was emaciated and thought she was lucky she had passed any physicals or medical exams.  
  
The scene changed again to the bathroom in her father's house. Jonas was away for a few days and Sam had gone for dinner deciding to spend the night. As she ran the bath she sat on the floor and scribbled out the note, attaching it to the sink.  
  
The water was hot, older Sam could feel it as she watched her younger self, step into the tub. Younger Sam leaned back and closed her eyes. Older Sam watched and as her younger body began to weep softly into her hands, the crying getting louder until she was nearly biting hr hand to stop the sound.  
  
She sat crying for nearly 20 minutes before her dad knocked on the door.  
  
"Sam." The muffled voice said.  
  
"What is it?" Sam said as sturdy as she could. The sharpened pocket knife clutched tightly in her hand.  
  
"I heard you crying, are you ok?" The voice asked.  
  
"I'm fine, please go away." Sam said through a sob.

"Sam, you're not fine. What's going on?"

"Nothing would please leave me alone!" Sam said through tears.

"Sam open the door." Jacob said.

"Oh would just leave me the hell alone!" She screamed through the heavy sobs.  
  
"Sam open the door now!" Her father yelled.

"No Dad." She said more quietly.

"Sam open up, now!"  
  
"Daddy please..."she whimpered.  
  
"Sam open the door now, come on baby come out and we can talk."  
  
"GO AWAY!" Sam screamed again, sobs racking her body.  
  
"Sam I am going to count to five, then I will break this door down. 1, 2, 3.." Sam didn't hear the end of the count down, the door was suddenly splayed awkwardly on its hinges and her father was in the bathroom. The first thing he saw was a piece of paper stuck to the mirror, he didn't bother to read it, he saw the open knife in Sam's hand.  
  
"Sammy honey," he said softly, "baby put the knife down."  
  
"Leave me alone, I'm not worth it." She said staring at the knife. Her knuckles were white with tension.  
  
"Honey, you are worth everything, you know that." He said softly taking a step towards her. He was reeling at just how skinny she was. He could see her bones clearly through her pink skin.  
  
"Get out Dad, please." She murmured.  
  
"You know I can't do that. You want to tell me what's wrong?" Two more steps. One more and he would be able to touch her.  
  
"No, it's not worth it just please leave."  
  
"I'm not going to do that, I love you too much." That was her undoing. She slumped back against the tub and Jacob saw her grip on the knife loosen. In swift motion he was by the tub and had the knife out of her hand. He slipped it into his own pocket and grabbed a towel. Urging her to get up he wrapped the towel around her and held her as she cried on his shoulder.  
  
Older Sam watched her self and the look of sheer pain on her fathers face and felt guilty. Guilty that she could have ever put him through that.  
  
"He may not have always been open, but I was so proud of him that night." Her mother said.  
  
"I can't believe I did that to him." She said.  
  
"It wasn't your fault baby. But you did give him a fright. Do you remember what you wrote?"  
  
"You mean on the note?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes." Her mother said.  
  
"After that, the only thing I remember is sitting on the sofa till three in the morning refusing to let go of him. He force-fed me hot chocolate and cookies. We organized for him, Mark and a group of guys to go around and get my stuff from the house and to leave the ring with him. He made me sleep in his bed and he slept next to me on a mattress on the floor. The next day we organized for me to take a month off and I had my first session of many with Karla. He managed to keep it all out of my file. Karla saw me privately and I felt like a new person after a while."  
  
"Before you woke up, he went into the bathroom and got the note. It said, I'm sorry I'm not what you think I am, maybe someday you'll realise it's better this way." The two were silent for a minute. "How could you ever think that Sammy?" Tamara asked.  
  
"At the time it's how I felt." Sam replied watching herself be helped into a ribe by her father.  
  
"Do you know why you are here?" Tamara asked.  
  
"I have no idea." Sam said.  
  
"To show you how strong you are. Inside of you Sam is a light that is so strong and bright, nothing can put it out. This came close but you won. You hear me, it took you down and you still won. You can't forget these things, Sam. They hurt to remember, but you are so much more powerful because of them. I wanted to come back to you then. If only for a minute." Tamara said, tears in her own eyes.  
  
"You are here now, that's what counts." Sam said wrapping her arms around her. Tamara wasted no time getting them out of there.  
  
A/N- You would not believe how much this chapter took out of me. I hope it is not tacky and cliché...please read and review, I am a feedback addict.


	13. Not Enough Time

A/N- Ok I have to go have a shower I have been awake for a LONG time and feel really gross! This is just a bridging chapter I am sorry, but it is a vital one! Sorry MGM your toys are on extended loan so I can live out my own little fantasy!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
It took a minute for Sam to realise that they were back in the white room.  
  
"How was your experience Samantha?" The Voice asked.  
  
"It was very strange." Sam said.  
  
"I trust it you have taken what you needed?" The voice asked.  
  
"Sorry?" Sam asked.  
  
"Give us a minute." Tamara said.  
  
The two women jumped up on the white bench and got as comfortable as they could.  
  
"Sammy, you had to see these things because you needed to know just how special you are." Her mom said.  
  
"Oh I'm not that special." Sam said blushing.  
  
"Well you are wrong baby. It is important that you remember everything you have seen with me. You need to always keep in your heart how much love created you. It is rare and you were lucky enough to be a product of it. You need to look past first glances and try and see things from every single side, not just one or two. And I know you are able to do that with an experiment or an equation, but you have to start doing it with people. And last of all but by no means the least, you need to remember how strong you are my girl. You have such a big future ahead of you and you are going to need to remember these things and much more, which you will see soon, to make it there."  
  
"No pressure huh?" Sam said with a smile.  
  
"Oh Sam, you are more than able to handle it. Cassie said to you once, your journey is only just beginning. And she was right, I have seen it and you are going to have a blast. But it is up to you to make sure you get there."  
  
"Tamara..." The voice said.  
  
"I know." Tamara replied.  
  
"What?" Sam asked.  
  
"It's time for me to go Samantha, my job here is done." Tamara said with a sad smile.  
  
"What! NO! You can't I have so much I need to tell you..." Sam said hugging her mom again.  
  
"Sam honey, there is nothing you can tell me I don't already know. But I will say this. I am so proud of you. I am so proud of how you grew you up, what you have achieved, and whom you are going to grow into. You are an incredible daughter Samantha. I love you."  
  
"Please stay..."Sam whispered.  
  
"You don't know how much I want to. But like you, I have things I need to do. Believe it or not your father needs constant supervision when he is using those crystals to build the tunnels." The two women both chuckled softly.

"I love you mom, thank you for coming to me." Sam said into her mother's ear.  
  
"I love you Sam, you are everything I could have hoped you would be." With that Tamara stood up and walked over and stood facing the wall. Looking over her shoulder she smiled at Sam, reached out her hand and with one look, she was gone.  
  
Sam felt the fresh pain of loss and had to struggle to keep her breathing even.  
  
"Samantha you..."  
  
"Just give me a minute." Sam said into her knees that she had drawn to her chest and wrapped her arms around. She sat for a few minutes unsure what to say or do when a familiar voice from behind caused her to jump.  
  
"Come on soldier on your feet!" The voice bellowed.

Forces self away from computer and goes and has a shower.


	14. Coming Second

A/N- Here we go. I hope I am not posting this too fast...it probably makes NO sense!!! Anyway on with the show!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
Tuesday 1:30pm  
  
Pete was pacing the room back and forth; he had been doing so for an hour. The tension in him was building to dangerous levels and he felt that he could blow at the slightest provocation. A soft tap on the door broke is rhythm.  
  
"Yes?" He yelled. The door opened to reveal his visitor.  
  
"Pete Shannahan. How are you?" Teal'c's deep baritone voice asked him.  
  
"I'm going out of my mind." Pete replied as he sat down at the small table in the middle of the room.  
  
"You are concerned for Colonel Carter." Teal'c said.  
  
"Yes Teal'c I am." Pete stopped and stared at the man. He began to take in just how big the guy was. Pete was sure he was the kind of guy they use in stunt movies.  
  
"I do believe she will make a full recovery." Teal'c said optimistically.  
  
"I wish I could agree with you buddy, but I can't." Pete replied.  
  
"If you remain in that state of mind, then today will be a most strenuous day for you." Teal'c said.  
  
"Did you want something?" Pete asked him.  
  
"Indeed" Teal'c said sitting down.  
  
"Well?" Pete asked.  
  
"On our last mission, Colonel Carter was removing her pack to set up her tent. She did not realise it had become hooked in the chain of her military identification tags. When the pack dropped, it pulled the chain with such force it broke it. Her one concern was this." Teal'c said as he held up Sam's engagement ring. "Colonel Carter wore it on her tag chain to avoid it getting lost. I believe she would be most happy for you to return it when she wakes up, she seemed to forget she had requested I look after it."  
  
"She can't even remember where she puts it." Pete said.  
  
"She was unconscious at the time in question." Teal'c said.  
  
"So Teal'c you seem like an honest guy." Pete said.  
  
"Indeed." Teal'c replied.  
  
"If I ask you something can I trust you to give me a straight up honest answer with no BS?"  
  
"I will my try my best to give you a satisfactory answer." Teal'c replied.  
  
"Has there ever been anything between General O'Neill and Sam?" Pete asked, instantly troubled by the one eyebrow that Teal'c lifted.  
  
"They are in fact, good friends and team mates." Teal'c said.  
  
"No I mean romantically? Have they ever had..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Not even just..."  
  
"No."  
  
"But surely..."  
  
"No."  
  
"Ok. Then how is it he is listed on that medical consent form as her next in line after her father?" Pete asked.  
  
"It is true that She and General O'Neill are extremely close, but it does not mean that her faithfulness to you is questionable."  
  
"It just seems like I am always one step behind you guys with her." Pete said. "I mean you think it would be mine name down there, after all we are getting married." He continued.  
  
"Pete Shannahan, the name is not significant. It could have been mine or Daniel Jackson's name in that position, General O'Neill just happen to pick her name out."  
  
"What do you mean pick her name?" Pete asked.  
  
"Approximately 4 years ago, an entity came through the Stargate. Colonel Carter did in fact die, but was kept on life support. Whilst Colonel Carter had previously outlined her desires in this situation, we as a team decided that we trusted each other more than anyone with having to make those decisions, such as what General O'Neill did for Colonel Carter this morning."  
  
"So what you are all each others plug pullers?" Pete asked.  
  
"Plug Puller?" Teal'c asked.  
  
"Ah never mind, so what, if Daniel was in this position...  
  
"Colonel Carter would be making the choice. If it were General O'Neill the decision would rest with myself, and if it were myself the decision would rest with Daniel Jackson. We are indeed an, as you would say, extended family unit."  
  
"She never told me you all did that." Pete said unable to hide the hurt and jealousy.  
  
"I am sure, had the situation arose, this matter would have been remedied. But as it stands the decision rests with General O'Neill." Teal'c stated.  
  
"Well maybe I don't want the decision to rest with him. Maybe I want to be at least some level of importance in her lie." Pete said standing up fast enough to knock his chair down.  
  
"I believe that Colonel Carter is very much looking forward to creating a life with you." Teal'c said, standing in an effort to intimidate the man into better behaviour. It worked. Pete picked his chair up and sat back at the table.  
  
"Well she has a funny way of showing it. If it isn't from another planet or in this mountain she tends to think it can wait." Pete replied.  
  
"I do not believe that is the case. Have you not considered that Colonel Carter is just unsure of how she is meant to act in this type of relationship? In my time with the Tau'ri I have noticed that emotional issues are not often dealt with openly. Perhaps you should discuss this with Colonel Carter when she is well."  
  
"I will always come second to you though...to all of you. You are the most important things in her life."  
  
"We are all important to each other." Teal'c stated calmly. Without another word Teal'c stood and exited the room, leaving a somewhat subdued Pete in his wake.  
  
Rounding the hall Teal'c found Daniel Jackson reading a file.  
  
"Daniel Jackson." He said with a slight head bow.  
"Hey Teal'c. Did you just come form Pete?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Indeed."  
  
"How is he?" Daniel asked.  
  
"He seems most distressed, so I found it only to fair to inform him of how we all randomly chose a name and nominated that person as our second point of contact concerning medical matters."  
  
"But we did not randomly choose names. We paired up, Jack and Sam and you and me." Daniel said confused.  
  
Teal'c merely raised his eyebrow and Daniel understood the signals.  
  
"Nice going, Did it work?"  
  
"Indeed, he seemed to calm considerably." Teal'c said.  
  
"Well good, the calmer he stays the better. We just heard from Dr Brightman, she thinks they'll be out in about an hour. No news on Sam's actual condition." Daniel said with a small sigh.  
  
"I will return to my quarters then." Teal'c bowed his head once more and walked back to his room.  
  
A/N- ok so you may find out whom it is, in the room with Sam next chapter...or I may decide to be really cruel! Cookies for any one who can guess! Keep reviewing I love it...you are most encouraging! 


	15. Rushing It

A/N- Well here we go, the reveal of who the next visitor is! You think I would leave you hanging? Well I hate it when others do that to me, so without further delay...  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
"I can't take this right now." Sam said.  
  
"Samantha you have a visitor." The voice said.  
  
"If I don't look then they can go and I won't have to go through this again."  
  
Sam felt a light touch on her shoulder.  
  
"Please don't, I don't think I can handle this." Sam said softly.  
  
"It's a lot easier if you look at me." The new visitor said. Accepting her defeat Sam turned around and was greeted by a pair soft brown eyes and a large smile. She looked exactly as Sam remembered.  
  
"Janet." Sam said sadly as the smaller woman moved to give her a hug. Sam managed to lose it once more and was crying with Janet as the two embraced.  
  
"My god Sam I have missed you all so much." Janet said.  
  
The woman moved apart and both sat up on the bench.  
  
"Wow," Sam said wiping her eyes "I have cried more since I got here than I have in the last five years." Janet gave her friend another squeeze around the shoulders.  
  
"How have you been?" Janet asked.  
  
"Oh you know, saving the world, beating bad guys..."  
  
"Getting engaged?" Janet continued.  
  
"Yeah." Sam said blushing slightly.  
  
"How is everyone?" Janet asked.  
  
"Getting there. General O'Neill, if you can believe it, hates paper work even more, Daniel is translating and Teal'c is...Teal'c. We all miss you. It's not the same." Sam said. There was a few moments silence before Janet continued.  
  
"How is she Sam?" She asked finally.  
  
"She's doing as good as she can. You know how it is, it hurts, but we have tried to support her as much as we can. You raised an incredible daughter Janet." Sam said trying to reassure her friend.  
  
"I know. I miss her so much. I am allowed to look in on her form time to time, but I wish I could speak to her again, tell her I love her, tell her goodbye." Sam could feel the emotion running through Janet.  
  
"She knows Jan. She misses you too." Sam said taking Janet's hand into her own.  
  
"Thank you for taking care of her. I saw how you were with her when it happened."  
  
"I was just doing what anyone would have done. I could see she was heading in the wrong direction. But I think she is going to be fine." Sam said in a comforting tone.  
  
"So, engaged huh?" Janet asked again trying to brighten them up.  
  
"Yeah, what do you think?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well I only met him once and he wasn't in the best shape, being shot and all. But he seemed nice."  
  
"I'm sensing a but here." Sam said.  
  
"Are you sure you are not rushing this? You get set up with this guy and you want to marry him."  
  
"We have been together for a while now." Sam said.  
  
"I know, I just can't help feeling that you are not thinking clearly. You seem so caught up in the idea that you need to have this life to be fulfilled you are jumping right into it headfirst without testing the water levels." Janet replied.  
  
"I love him Janet. I finally have someone and I like how that feels." Sam said.  
  
"I can't say to you, everything I want to...I can't do anything that is a direct influence on you. But there are a few things I am meant to show you." Janet said standing up an pulling Sam with her.  
  
Janet waved her hand in the same way her mother had and Sam found herself looking at a very familiar figure. 


	16. Coming Back

A/N So the last chapter was a little iddy biddy one; here is a bigger one for you! Hope you like it. Please feel free to suggest something you would like to see in this...beside Sam and Jack lol!!! I know I said Pete would get hit, he still might so don't worry.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
Sam watched herself be wheeled in on a hospital stretcher and a group of nurses attach her to a heart monitor and various other pieces of machinery. As Sam watched she could tell it was painful for Janet to watch.  
  
"I should be doing this." Janet murmured.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" Sam asked.  
  
"Can't say." Janet replied.  
  
"Oh you can't be serious. Come on Janet you're a ghost and I am having some coma induced delusion and you are going to keep a secret!" Sam exclaimed.  
  
"There is more to it than that Sam. And as he told you, this is very real, and very important! So pay attention." Janet said slipping back into her old way of giving orders.  
  
"Yes Doctor." Sam said with an affectionate sarcasm.  
  
"Good." Janet said grinning.  
  
"So, I take it this is the present. What can you tell me?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well you have just come out of surgery. It's Tuesday evening and everyone is very worried. But I can tell you that you are fine."  
  
"But I can't know what's wrong with me?"  
  
"No, I said I couldn't say. I never said you couldn't watch someone get told."  
  
"Well ok then" Sam said.  
  
The two women moved to Dr Brightman's office, Sam was stunned to see Pete was in there with Jack, Daniel and Teal'c.  
  
"What is he doing here?" Sam asked.  
  
"Jack had him brought in. He has been here since this morning." Janet said.  
  
"Oh. That's nice of him." Sam said.  
  
"I know, General O'Neill is a nice man, he cares about you." Janet said.  
  
"I meant Pete." Sam replied giving Janet a glare.  
  
"Sure you did." Janet replied.  
  
Sam watched as Dr Brightman told the four men what was wrong with her, and was stunned by the way in which all for of them seem to sit and take in every single detail, even Jack.  
  
"All I can say is that Colonel Carter is an extremely lucky woman. The bleeding she was experience was thankfully her body trying to regulate it's cycle once again." Sam felt the boys get embarrassed.  
  
"There were no other cysts present. However, the infection was still present and had spread into the fallopian tube on the right side." She said looking at Jack.  
  
"Son of a bitch." Pete said, also looking at Jack.  
  
"Watch it." Jack said to him.  
  
"Gentlemen please. Now, we were able to remove the infected tissue. Whilst she will have major scarring, with some future treatment and careful planning there is no reason why Colonel Carter will not be able to have children. I can not say how easy it would be and it will be high risk given her age and circumstances, but it is not impossible."  
  
"Thank god." Daniel said.  
  
"Yeah, that's good news." Jack said.  
  
"That's all you can say?" Pete said to him.  
  
"Mr. Shannahan, I think it only fair to inform you, had General O'Neill not given the go ahead for the surgery, Colonel Carter could very well be dead. It saved her life. We performed a sort of flush out process of her abdominal cavity that will hopefully prevent a relapse and her fever has already dropped. Things are good gentlemen. "  
  
Sam was trying to put together all the pieces of the puzzle when Dr Brightman's words caused her eyes to fly open in surprise and lock on Jack. She watched him as he sat fixated on his own hands.  
  
"He saved your life again Sam." Janet said.  
  
"So, let me see if I have this right. I had a rupturing cyst, which caused a bacteria infection and blood poisoning, I needed more surgery so I would live and Pete tried to convince them not to do it?" Sam said in disbelief.  
  
"In a nutshell." Sam said.  
  
"Why would he do that?" Sam asked.  
  
"Who knows? But you are lucky Jack is able to put his feelings on hold. He risked his friendship with you to save your life. He knew you would never forgive him if the surgery had left you unable to conceive."  
  
"He thinks that?"  
  
"But even knowing that, he knew he had to save you."  
  
"Just one more thing to add to the list of favours I owe him." Sam said with a smile.  
  
"Oh I think you're pretty even." Janet said.  
  
"So what's happening now?" Sam asked as all the men stood up.  
  
"Well Pete has to leave, Jack wants him off base. He's been a little mouthy." Janet said.  
  
"He isn't like that normally." Sam said with a hint of sadness in her voice.  
  
"Maybe that is just a side of him you don't know." Janet said.  
  
The group left the room and Sam and Janet were instantly in the hall with them.  
  
"Daniel Jackson, I do believe that we should return to the translation of the cave paintings from M67 409." Teal'c said.  
  
"Yes we should. Talk to you later Jack. Bye Pete." Daniel said, the two turning and leaving the other two men standing awkwardly with each other.  
  
"I'll send someone in a couple of minutes to get you." Jack said to Pete. "There are some security procedures before you go."  
  
"I take it I'll get a call when there is more to know, and until then I get to sit and wait and worry myself sick." Pete said throwing Jack's words back at him.  
  
"I'll call you tomorrow Pete." Jack said trying to stay calm.  
  
"Why is he being like this?" Sam said.  
  
"Because he knows Sam. He knows that this is who you are. You are a damn fine officer and you are dedicated to this place and the people here. He knows this place is what makes you. "  
  
"But that's not true." Sam protested.  
  
"Yes it is honey," Janet said with a chuckle "what you need to realise is that it is not a bad thing. You are here for a reason and you have a lot left to offer this planet my girl."  
  
"IT IS AWFUL! It's not normal!" Sam screamed.  
  
"What's normal? And hey, don't scream at me, this is your doing not mine."  
  
"Well then how do I undo it?" Sam asked.  
  
"You don't mean that Sam. You need this. Just like I did."  
  
"I don't deserve to be loved?" Sam asked her in a whisper.  
  
"That's not what I am saying at all. And if I could I would explain everything to you, every single detail, but I can't. You just have to trust me when I say you need to think about this long and hard, you need to make sure you consider everything. Because when you make the choice you have to make, and I can't say when, it is going to create or change big things Sam. Bigger than you realise and that is only the beginning." Janet was pleading with her now, trying her hardest to make Sam understand.  
  
"Well sorry, but if this divine plan is so damn important then why don't you just tell me what it is so I can make it happen. If my future is of such great importance then why don't you just point me in the right direction with instructions and stop putting me through all this!" Sam yelled to the ceiling.  
  
"It doesn't work like that Sam. Free will. You have it, they can't take it but you can't give up on this. Trust me."  
  
"I'm finding it hard to trust anything at the moment."  
  
"Trust this Sam," Janet said taking her had "you are loved. A love exists for you that is greater than you can fathom, and it will be yours, but you have to be patient and not force it. And rest assured that love is going to do great things." Janet told her.  
  
Sam was tired. She was exhausted mentally and physically and felt like she had had every proverbial rug pulled out from underneath her. Nothing felt safe anymore, and for the first time, Sam Carter was afraid of not knowing what was to come.  
  
"Janet how am I meant to deal with this? You are telling me to rethink my entire existence. What happens when I wake up?" Sam asked.  
  
"You'll deal with that soon. Come on let's take a walk. We have a couple of minutes before we have to come back here." Janet said. Before Sam could say anything the two were outside the mountain watching the sunset.  
  
They walked around and talked for about half an hour. When Sam saw Pete walking through the parking lot she lost track of what she was saying.  
  
"It's time." Janet said holding her hand. The two then, were once again back in the infirmary. It was quiet, a nurse was in the far corner making a bed and Jack sat beside Sam's sleeping body.  
  
"He won't leave." Sam said.  
  
"He's done that before, not left that is." Janet said. Sam told Janet she understood with the look on her face.  
  
"Go sit with him." Janet said pushing her forward.  
  
Sam moved forward and sat on the end the bed her body was in. She felt a little strange watching herself, so she focused her attention on Jack. She smiled when she saw him take her hand in his own. She listened carefully as he whispered to her body.  
  
"You know you are giving me grey hair Sam. Or maybe it's Daniel I don't know. You've been napping for over a day now, I think it's time you came back to us, to me. Please wake up; I need you too. I know that I have missed my chance, the one that got away and all those other cliche's but I still need you in my life." She didn't hear anything else; she turned to Janet with a pleading look.  
  
"Help me tell him." Sam said.  
  
"I can't Sam."  
  
"Don't give me that no interfering crap Janet you are my friend now help me!"  
  
"There is nothing I can do."  
  
"Bull shit! Janet please, he needs to know...please." Sam begged.  
  
Janet stepped forward and took Sam's hand. "You are going to get me into trouble. Reach out your hand and place it on him. He won't feel it."  
  
Sam placed a hand on Jack's shoulder and was shocked she could feel it. Before she knew it she had wrapped her arm around him from behind, her forearm across his chest and her hand resting on his heart. She pressed a soft kiss to his left cheek and closed her eyes tightly. "I'm coming home Jack, soon, I promise you I am coming back to you." She whispered.  
  
Sam and Janet both stood back in surprise as Jack's eyes flew open and he sat up straight with a loud gasp.  
  
"Janet!" Sam croaked "Did he hear me?"  
  
"That's impossible, he was just meant to get the knowledge...but I think he did."  
  
"Can I say something else?" Sam asked.  
  
"No we have to go." Janet waved her hand around and the two were back in the white room.  
  
"Sam I wish I could stay but..."  
  
"I know, you have to go. It was good to get this chance."  
  
"Thank you for being a wonderful friend Sam, to me and to Cassie."  
  
"It was an honor Janet. Thank you." Sam replied hugging her friend tightly.  
  
"Remember to be sure Sam. Think about what you saw and how you felt, very hard. Don't rush."  
  
"I will Janet. Good bye."  
  
"Bye Sam, oh and one last thing, tell Daniel to talk to Nurse Hollans." Janet gave her a wink and walked over to the white wall and was gone. 


	17. A Helpful Journey

A/N I am slowing down a bit I think. I just was doing some reading and realised the idea I had for the ending to this had been like totally done so I am having to go and recreate the last half grrrrr But anyway. I am needing an opinion on something. How much ship do you want at the end? I can totally establish it in the new ending if you all want or I can just have one of those mutual understanding endings leaving me open for a follow up story, or a happy medium...let me know!

Sam was once again in the room by herself, totally and utterly confused.

"You are quiet Samantha." The voice said.

"I was not sure if you were here." Sam told the voice as she lay down on the bench.

"I am always here. Do you believe your journey has been helpful?" The voice asked.

"Helpful isn't a word I'd use. I am still unsure what it is you want me to see, or what I am meant to figure out." Sam said. She squeezed the bridge of her nose trying to relieve the pressure built up there.

"You were able to see yourself and your friends." The voice said.

"Yeah, I didn't look so good." Sam told the voice.

"But you are healing. You will soon be able to return to your physical body in that existence." The Voice told her.

"Well that's nice. Tell me, when I wake up, will I remember any of this? Will I be able to tell people that I saw Janet and my mom again? Or will I jut know what it is I am supposed to have learnt here?" The idea of having to live with this secret her whole life was something she was used to but hated. The idea of not remembering the precious time she had been given with her mom and with Janet terrified her even more.

"You will remember Samantha. Otherwise what would be the point? We did this as much for you as for us. Did you not enjoy the time with your mother and friend?" The voice asked.

"Of course! It was wonderful. I just feel a little bad that I was able to say goodbye to them and others weren't." Sam said sitting up.

"I understand. Perhaps in time they will get the chance to say a final goodbye."

"Maybe. So what's next?" Sam asked.

"Let us assess what you have learnt so far." The Voice asked.

"Before we get to that, do you have a name?" Sam asked the voice.

"Why do you ask?" The voice asked hesitantly.

"Well it seems I am going to be here for a little while longer yet, what should I call you?"

"In my time as a physical being I was called Brae." He said.

"Well Brae, it's a pleasure to meet you." Sam said.

"You too Samantha. You are a truly interesting being." Brae said.

"Thank you. You are not so dull yourself." Sam said.

"Now, as to what you have learnt. Do you believe your visit has been fulfilling?"

"To be honest, no, I feel like I have more questions than before." Sam said.

"About what?"

"Well for starters, my people, the human race. Are you saying that we are going to grow into something like the Ancients, or your people for that matter?"

"Your people have much to learn and many, many mistakes to make before you begin to explore the full potential within you. But there is a great plan for you." Brae said.

"And I am part of that plan?" Sam asked hoping he would continue to clarify further.

"You are a catalyst. With you the seed will be planted." Brae answered.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked.

"That will be revealed in time Samantha, but what is important is that you have accepted who you are. And that you are ready to follow the path you are destined for. What did your mother show you?" Brae asked.

"She showed me that I was created from love, and that not everything is as it seems. I need to find a love like the one that created me, that maybe that is the missing piece." Sam said.

"Very good. You have taken in much more than most. And your friend Janet, what did she show you." Brae said.

"I am not sure if what she showed me was a good thing." Sam said.

"She told you to look harder, and not to pass anything by."

"I guess." Sam said.

"Then she was successful." Said Brae.

"Was there anything else I was meant to pick up on? Seems like I should have got the meaning of life somewhere along the line..." Sam said.

"Everyone's life has many meanings Sam. There is more than one."

"Well ok, but was there something else I was meant to learn, like why my future is so important." Sam said.

"As I have told you, you journey is not yet complete. When it is, you will see why you had to take this trip. Samantha, your time here is growing short, there is still one more person you have to see." Brae said.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"Hello Sam." Someone from behind her said. Sam whirled around to see who was with her now. She was taken back by the figure before her. The elderly woman was slightly round shouldered with a tiny frame. Her almost white hair hung loosely around her face in soft waves and her eyes were a piercing grey blue. Sam thought the woman must have been around seventy.

"Hi." Sam said moving towards her.

"How are you?" The woman asked.

"Fine, do I know you?" Sam asked.

"Not yet. But you will." The woman told her.

Sam stared in confusion at the woman...I am too old for this she thought.


	18. She doesn't love me

A/N Well buckle up people this is the chapter that most of you have been waiting for...Jack and Pete (begins to sing Ultimate Muscle theme song)! Oh please excuse me using the wizard of oz analogy AGAIN it just fit, anyone who wants to write to em and say you had it first please feel free...Spoilers for Heroes 1 and 2.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
CaptainDoctor  
  
Pete sat on the couch with the beer in his hand, from what he could remember it was number five or six. Sam's house was more like a home than his own, as he sat in her living room he tried to take some comfort in his surroundings. The small touches that were all Sam, photos, various gadgets, books on space and physics, should have made him feel closer to her, but instead he felt like they were all mocking him. Flaunting the life she did not want him part of in his face.  
  
He had to know, he had to figure out what was keeping her from committing to him totally, what it was that was holding Sam back. The thing that terrified him the most, was that he was sure he already knew.  
  
Pete opened the closet in her bedroom and said a silent prayer for forgiveness as he began to move around her clothes and pull out the various boxes from the bottom. He went through them one by one, carefully examining everything in them. He tried not to read things in too much detail, most things he did not have to.  
  
He had lost track of time as he started on the top shelf going through the few shoeboxes there. He was fretting, was he doing this for nothing? Was he really not going to find something after all this? He was feeling the beer wear off as he moved a few things from his path and his eyes came to rest on a small brown wooden box in the very back of the small space. Pete took the box and sat down on the bed, watching it like it would move on it's own and answer all the questions he had. He was expecting to need a key, but was thankful he was able to click the clasp across and open it without one. Well that's one thing, must have forgot to lock it last time she had it, he thought.  
  
Pete studied the contents from the outside of the box without disturbing them. He could see the small piece of paper on the top that sat on what appeared to be five envelopes. A few other things were in there, but he was unable to move past the letters. He removed them carefully and put the box aside. The small piece of paper was the first thing he read.  
  
'To whom it may concern,  
  
In the event that I do not fulfill my ambition of becoming an old woman watching the stars please make sure that these reach their owners.  
  
Sam Carter'  
  
Pete looked through them, Cassie, Dad, Daniel, Teal'c and Jack. Not General, not Sir, Jack. This is it, Pete thought. He put the other letters back in the box and held the last one in his hand. He weighed up what it would mean to read it. If he read it, he would know, he would find out just what was there and would be able to decide if he could go through life being second best. However, Sam could find out he had read it, hate him for it and he would lose her. If he didn't he could go on in a haze of ignorance induced bliss and pretend like he was her world. But he could not do that, he had to know. He slipped the letter open carefully and pulled out the contents out, surprised to see more than one piece of paper. He took a steadying breath and began to read.  
  
'Jack,  
  
It seems funny to call you that and not be there to see you raise your eyebrows and look kind of shocked. I think the best thing to do is to begin this with a cliché, if you are reading this, it means I am gone. A sad thought, but one I cannot get out of my head.  
  
You dropped Cassie and me home after Janet's funeral this afternoon and even walked us to the door. You may not admit it or like it, but you have such a nurturing streak in you Jack, it's a wonderful thing. Cassie fell asleep after not eating her dinner and I had the urge to do this. I hated the idea that I could be taken and those around me may not know just how much I care about them. Yours is the last one, and the hardest.  
  
I think I must have done something great either in this life or another one to be blessed with such a wonderful family in you guys and Cassie. Having a ,some times rocky, relationship with my real family made me think I was missing something, and I know that the day I joined SG 1, I found what it was.  
  
It makes me feel like we were a somewhat sorry knock off of the Wizard of Oz, and the way you spoke about that movie makes me think you felt the same way. Me, a more mature Dorothy looking for a place to call home, trying to find what I had in front of me the whole time. Teal'c the Tin Man, searching for that more sensitive human element he was forced to live without for so long. Daniel forced to take on the role of soldier after living as a scholar, looking for a power inside of him he never knew he had, much like the cowardly lion, but he showed us so many times he was anything but a coward. And then you, my scarecrow, by best friend, the first thing I found on my journey and the greatest gift anyone could ask for.

You hid behind your wit and humor, I always wondered why you never wanted people to know how smart you really were, and I'm not there for you to disagree with so just accept it ok, we all saw right through the tough guy act.  
  
Pete had never thought about it, but the more he did the more he realised she was right they were like the Wizard of Oz.  
  
I have no idea what has been happening in the lead up to you getting this letter, but I have no doubt that great things have happened to you. All I know is that right now I have started up a relationship with someone and I need to explain something to you.  
  
I'm lonely Jack, I love my work, I love what we do and who we are, but when I can come home, I hate coming home and being alone. I've been doing it for too long and it feels good to have a message saying call me, when I walk in the door. But I have to be honest now, I wonder how long I can be content with just having someone to come home too. I care for him deeply, but how long is he going to be able to deal with me disappearing for days or weeks at a time, is it fair of me to ask him to do that, to sit and wait. I really don't know.  
  
Pete felt his breaths coming faster and faster.  
  
I do have to say this, after having this thing, I have realised, I still care about you Jack, a hell of a lot more than I'm supposed to. And if I am being totally honest, I have to tell you I love you. And I have a feeling I always will. I thought you had moved on, I was sure of it. But yesterday, when you held me, I know you were thinking the same thing as me, why are things so complicated. Do you know how I felt when I saw you take that blast to the chest? I felt like a part of me was ripped out. I knew then that I could never lose you, funny I say that in a letter that is written under the pretense of you losing me.  
  
I wonder what is going on with you now...what was happening with me. Was I still at the SGC, have we found the lost city? Or did something happen and things have changed, I'm at the Pentagon or Area 51. So many possibilities that could have come to fruition, I don't know where to begin.  
  
Maybe you still do care for me? Maybe we were able to explore if there was anything between us, or if the feelings we thought we had were just a product of our circumstances. Or we could have had a huge fight and you are not actually reading this and I am wasting my time right now. Maybe we went out to dinner and a movie and realised we were just meant to be friends.  
  
Or maybe, just maybe things worked out the way we imagined. Maybe our last private moment was waking up in each other's arms. I can see us now; my head is tucked into the crook of you neck, my hand is resting on your chest and your fingers trailing softly up and down my spine was what pulled me from my sleep. But I don't care because you give me this small grin that makes me melt, and thank whoever is responsible a thousand times over that you were sent to me.  
  
Pete drew in a shaky breath and felt the first tears begin to fall from his eyes.  
  
Is that a little too intense Jack? Does it worry you that someone cares for you that much? I know that you would turn away with a blush in your cheeks if I actually said those words to your face. But I can't help but think that is where we ended up, or where we would have eventually.  
  
I don't want to stop writing but there are only so many ways I can tell you I love you Jack. That you were the true north I always looked for, the friend I needed and the partner that I always desired. You made me who I am and I thank you everyday for that.  
  
Goodbye my scarecrow, I always have and always will miss you most of all.  
  
All my love  
  
Sam.  
  
P.S In case you missed my point, these are the words to a song I always wanted to sing to you, never know, maybe I did end up doing that, either way, here they are.  
  
I guess I'm just one of those Who believes there has to be a reason For living and breathing Every time you pull me close Something tells me there'll be no more reaching You're everything I'm needing.

Oh, I don't know how it happened, I never thought I would Find someone to complete me Oh, I just can't explain it, this feeling that I get Oh, ain't no way to name it, but I'm thinking baby  
  
Maybe it's the way you look at me Like there'll never be another I get swept away, baby when We get so caught up in each other I don't know where you end and I begin Where you end and I begin  
  
All it takes is just one kiss I just wanna get lost in this emotion Like the river and the ocean Oh, when you wrap your arms around me, it happens every time Time don't seem to matter

We'll always be together, I don't know what it is That tells me it's forever But I'm thinking baby  
  
Maybe it's the way you look at me Like there'll never be another I get swept away, baby when We get so caught up in each other I don't know where you end and I begin Where you end and I begin  
  
Pete could not even blink. He was so stunned by the revelation of how much Sam felt for this man, to the point where she had not even written him a letter. Maybe it was somewhere else. He shook his head, who was he kidding? There was no letter, there never would be.  
  
He was stone cold sober now, he flicked through the small book on Sam's coffee table and grabbing his keys and his jacket flew out the door.  
  
It was just after 11:30pm when he got there, the light in the front room letting him know the owner of the house was home. Steadying his hand Pete knocked loudly on the door. He heard the occupant making their way to the door. The porch light came one and Pete braced himself.  
  
"What are you doing here?" they asked.  
  
"She doesn't love me does she?"  
  
"You'd have to ask her that."  
  
"Damn it Jack don't screw with me." Pete said slamming his hand against the doorframe.  
  
"Come in." Jack said opening the door fully allowing enough space for him to enter.  
  
"I don't want to come in Jack, I wan to know what the hell is going on. Are you together but you just mess around with other people before you can make it official?" Pete said in an accusing tone.  
  
"There is nothing going on with me..."Jack was cut of by Pete letting out a loud roar like scream  
  
"Can you just give me the god damn courtesy of being honest with me! No one is going to come slapping you with a court martial if you are honest with me just this once."  
  
Pete and Jack stood eye to eye, neither giving in. Jack wanted to, he wanted to scream out at the top of his lungs of course he loved her, but he wouldn't. Jack had more class than that.  
  
"Fine, if you want to be like that go ahead, but this pretty much answers all my questions, I just thought maybe you would have been man enough to admit it. If I were lucky enough to have a woman like Sam Carter in love with me, I'd tell everyone I knew, and all those I didn't." Pete said handing Jack three pieces of folded paper.  
  
"She does love you Pete." Jack said in a vain attempt to give the man some hope.  
  
"I said in love Jack, and there is a very big difference." Pete walked back to his car and saw Jack from his review mirror go back into the house. Pete drove back to Sam's to collect his things and checked into a motel later that night.  
  
Jack was not sure how long he sat just looking at the letter. He had read it three times already and each time it seemed more and more surreal. The fact that Carter, his Sam, had been so open and honest knocked him for six. His confusion only growing as he thought about how he would act now, what he should do. He knew this was something he was not meant to have read yet, if ever, but he had, and nothing could change that.  
  
Realising no solution would come that night, Jack folded the letter carefully and as he climbed into bed, he slipped it under his pillow, hoping it would act as some kind of good luck charm and bring him an answer.

A/N Ok so I am sorry, I got to the confrontation and was so emotionally drained that I could not right an all out brawl, and I have treated Pete so badly I thought I had to cut him a break, and I could not bear the mental image of a big black eye on the cute David DeLuise face! 


	19. It could end like this

A/N- ok so you think you have got it figured out right??? Well then you just believe what you want...and leave the suspenseful torture to me ok? Oh and I just revamped my chapter plan, this story is going to go on for a WHILE! Now please excuse what I did to Sam's character in this one, I think you will be able to see what I am trying to show. Review and let me know!

Shanks-Away!

Captain-Doctor

"Hello Brae, how are you?" The old woman asked.  
  
"I am very well, it is good to see you again my friend." Brae replied.  
  
"You know each other?" Sam asked.  
  
"You could say that." The woman replied.  
  
"So, let me guess, you are here to show me something as well." Sam said.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And that is?" Sam asked trying to get some more information.  
  
"What could be, what is possible." The woman answered.  
  
"The future?" Sam asked.  
  
"No, what could be. No one can foresee their chosen path, it is changing everyday. But you are able to seem some possibilities."  
  
"Is that wise? Couldn't this influence the choices I'll make and the future I end up living? And doesn't that go against all the principles of time travel?" Sam asked.  
  
"We are not sure what you will see Samantha. However, in order to complete your journey here you must take this next step." Brae said.  
  
"Ok then, what's your name?" Sam asked looking to the older woman.  
  
"Kariella." The woman replied.  
  
"It's a beautiful name." Sam said with a look of deep thought coming across her face.  
  
"Thank you, my mother picked it out. She told me an old friend gave he the idea for it and she always knew it was the name she wanted to call her first daughter."  
  
"So you were human, are human, as in my people...sorry. Are you from my timeline or are you from another place and time?" Sam asked.  
  
"I'm from your timeline Sam. A little further into it than you are but the same." Kariella said.  
  
"So how are you here? Are you like me, or are you like my mother and Janet?" Sam asked her, her sadness and concern coming through in the tone of her voice.  
  
"Sadly, I am like your mother and friend. But I was lucky, I passed away at the age of 87 in my sleep." Kariella said.  
  
"87? You look good. What's your secret?" Sam asked with a grin.  
  
"My mother passed on some very good genes to me, and my father was not to bad himself. My sister and my brother are the same." A sad smile passed Kariella's lips before she brought her attention back to Sam. 

"So you are the oldest of three children?" Sam asked.

"Yes, and the mother or two, grandmother of four." Kariella said with a chuckle.

"Kariella, you and Samantha should be going, she has much to see." Brae said.  
  
"Well then, let's go." Kariella said holding out her hand to Sam.  
  
Seconds later Sam was standing in a kitchen she didn't recognise. A man was on his back with his head hidden under the sink. A large tool box by his side, and Sam was shocked to see herself leaning against the fridge with a glass of water in her hand, her eyes fixed on the mans legs.  
  
A few minutes later the man manoeuvred himself out from under the sink and the top half of his body came into view. Sam thought he was a cute one and it was obvious that her alter ego sculling the glass of water thought the same thing. She listened intently as the two spoke.  
  
"Thanks again for fixing it Shane, I think we are just going to bite the bullet and replace the entire thing."  
  
"Well listen have Pete call me tomorrow and I can give him the name of a guy who does great work." Shane said packing his tools away. Sam 2 stood watching him and it was clear from the look on her face she was desperate to prolong the conversation anyway she could.  
  
"Can I get you a coffee?" Sam asked him.  
  
"Oh thanks but I should really be getting back, I have to do some stuff in the shop before my next call this afternoon." Shane said.  
  
"Oh come on Shane blow it off. I have cake..." Sam 2 said suggestively running her fingers up and down the front of the fridge. Sam was shocked at herself, not only was she flirting with a plumber, all be it an incredibly cute, seemingly charming and intelligent one, she was flirting well! But he had said Pete...Pete and her were together, that's a relief, she thought.  
  
"Sam Shanahan if I didn't know better, I think you were trying to seduce me with desserts." Shane said.  
  
"Firstly, it's Carter, not Shanahan, and secondly, how long has it been since you were seduced by a baked good?" Sam 2 said in a deep husky force that Sam had never heard herself use. Sam's eyes were as big as sauces as she watched herself walk her fingers up the chest of the stud-licious tradesman. So she had kept her name...they had got married but she had kept her name, well that was not a surprise. Sam was snapped out of her daydream by a loud crashing sound, she looked down to see that Shane had dropped whatever tool was in his hand and had wrapped his arms around Sam 2. The two were now locked in a heated embrace and Shane had a hand up her shirt. Sam looked on in horror as she watched herself practically maul this man she did not know, in her time.  
  
"Well can you blame her, he is cute." Kairella said.  
  
"Are you serious?" I would never do anything like that. I would never hurt Pete." Sam said unable to avert her eyes from the couple in front of her, now in various states of undress. Sam 2's skirt was bunched around her waist and she was working Shane's jeans down to his knees. Sam was mortified. She watched as he lifted her effortlessly onto the counter top and pulled open her blouse, his mouth moving over her chest and breasts. She watched herself arch her back and offer herself to him freely. Before they could see anymore, Kariella changed the scene and they two were in what Sam guessed was the bedroom she shared with Pete.  
  
Sam was in bed, lying on her side facing away from him. Pete was reading a book, which he put down as he focused his attention on her. He began to slowly caress her back, trailing a soft figure eight with his fingers over her tailbone. Out of habit, Sam reacted to the touches. Turning to face him, she reached up and pulled him in for a long kiss. Pete moved away from her, working his way down until his mouth came to rest on her now exposed belly button. Sam closed her eyes and just prayed he would finish soon. He pulled her shirt up slowly, trailing kisses as he moved back upwards. Sam felt the cool air on her breasts and was waiting for Pete's next touch when she felt him sit up.  
  
"Sam?" he said, not looking at her face.  
  
"What is it?" She asked him, siting up slightly.  
  
"What's this?" He asked looking at her chest.  
  
'What?" Sam asked in confusion.  
  
"She should have been more careful." Kariella said to Sam as the two watched the exchange.  
  
"This mark Sam, it looks like...did someone bite you?" Pete asked moving back from her. Sam 2 jumped out of the bed and went to the mirror and looked at the purple and red mark clearly visible above her left breast. The memory of Shane biting her and the loud squeal she let out rushed through her mind. Pete had a look of confusion and disbelief on his face.  
  
Sam and Kariella watched on as Sam 2 admitted defeat and turned to her husband.  
  
"I'm sorry Pete." She said in a hushed tone.  
  
"What do you mean you're sorry? Are you saying someone actually bit your chest...what the hell are you talking about?" Pete said as he started pacing the room.  
  
"Pete I can explain..." Sam 2 started to say.  
  
"EXPLIAN!" Pete screamed. "Explain what Sam, that you cheated on me, how many times huh? How many other men are there?" Pete yelled.  
  
"None, it was nothing Pete it was just a moment..." she never got to finish.  
  
"A MOMENT! Oh for Christ's sake Sam don't give me that bullshit spur of the moment story. God, I'm so stupid I should have seen it coming."  
  
"Excuse me?" Sam said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Oh you know what I mean Sam, you know exactly what I mean."  
  
"Well humour me then. What do you mean?" Sam spat back.  
  
"You never really loved me. You loved this idea, but I was always just convenient."  
  
"How dare you!" Sam yelled back.  
  
"How dare I? How dare you! You screw someone else and then get touchy because I am pissed off. Well you know what, that's not how it works Sam. God, I should have got out when I had the chance, the Carter Curse strikes again." Pete said coming face to face with her. Sam drew her hand back and slapped him hard across the face.  
  
"Feel better now?" He asked her.  
  
"You have no idea what you are talking about Pete."  
  
"Maybe I don't, but I do know that all I have been is good to you and you gave up on me before we had even said our vows. Admit it Sam, you stuck around for the image, not for me."  
  
"If you think that then you never knew me at all. And if you think long and hard you might remember I am not the only one who gave up." Sam replied with an ice-cold voice.  
  
"That is different." Pete said.  
  
"How? How is that any different? I gave up everything and more for our life together. And I know that was my choice and one you didn't force me into. But as soon as things weren't perfect, as soon as things got a little hard you bailed. And what did I have then? A husband out of town five days a week and a 'sorry but I don't want to try and have kids anymore'."  
  
"Oh so it's my fault? You fell unfulfilled and blaming me is easy, well go ahead, at least I never did this." Pete said poking the area of bruised skin through her shirt.  
  
"You may as well have. That would have been easier to handle than you letting me know that you were through trying for a life with me, exactly what was I to you Pete."  
  
"I thought you were my wife!" he roared. "And you know exactly why I said I didn't want to try and have kids anymore Sam. Two times we got our hopes up, picked out a name, even got a crib, and two times we were left hurting. I did it for you so you wouldn't have to go through that again."  
  
"For me? Oh that's rich. You know I was always prepared for the worst, I was always sure to have help ready but the truth is you did not want to hate me any more. You blamed me."  
  
"I didn't blame you, I never blamed you."  
  
"Then who, because I never saw you shoulder the..." the realisation washed over her as she understood who he was referring to. "Oh don't you dare, don't you dare bring him into this."  
  
"Well considering EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU comes back to him in someway, I think it's a fair call."  
  
"Jack O'Neill has nothing to do with this. He was a great man." Sam 2 said, tears starting to fall.  
  
Real Sam was shocked beyond words. The last thing sticking in her mins 'was a great man'.  
  
"I know what a great man he was Sam. I've known since he gave the order for the surgery, how you said his name before anything else when you woke up. I've known ever since you stood up in front of nearly two hundred people and told them all you had never loved anyone quite like him." Pete got up, now dressed and wearing shoes, picked up his wallet and keys from the small nightstand.  
  
"Where are you going?" Sam asked him.  
  
"Do you really care?" Pete asked walking out of the room. Sam followed him trying to convince him to stay.  
  
"We need to talk." Sam told him.  
  
"I think we've said enough Sam. The one thing you could have said you didn't."  
  
"What?" Sam asked confused.  
  
"When I said you never loved me...you didn't tell me I was wrong." With that Pete walked down the hall. Sam heard the front door slam loudly and seconds later Pete's car came to life and Sam listened to him drive off into the night.  
  
Sam and Kariella watched Sam 2 as she collapsed on the couch and began to cry.  
  
"She lost her way." Kariella said sadly.  
  
"I can't believe it happens this way." Sam said. "It wouldn't."  
  
"How can you know? It is amazing what time, loss and grief can do to a person. And this is not set in stone, it is just one of the many outcomes you may create." Kariella told her. "It's time to go." Kariella wave her hand and Sam felt the familia floating sensation course through her body. When she got her bearings she looked around to see a very familiar site.  
  
"Unscheduled off-world activation, repeat, unscheduled off-world activation..." Sam heard in the distance. 


	20. Damn it Daniel

A/N Sorry for the delay...I hope you have not forgotten me! I hate real life...I much prefer my fantasy life where I work on the Stargate set as a massage therapist and get paid to tell Michael Shanks to take his shirt off and touch Christopher Judge's arms...excuse me I need to be alone now, enjoy the chapter.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
Wednesday 2:00am  
  
Daniel was trying to focus on the book in front of him. He had been looking for the title for years and finally came across it on ebay, much to his delight and wasted no time in purchasing it. He was trying to get into the chapter on the formation of a certain South African dialect when a knock on his office door broke his concentration.  
"Hey." Jack said as he entered.  
  
"Jack, hi. What are you doing here?" Daniel asked dropping the book to his desk.  
  
"Oh you know...Just thought I'd come in and..." Jack stopped unable to find an excuse.  
  
"So, how's Sam?" Daniels asked, sensing his discomfort.  
  
"Fine, I think. I haven't been down there in a while. Say do you ever sleep?"  
  
"Sometimes, I catch up when you make me watch a hockey game." Daniel replied with a grin.  
  
"Funny." Jack said. Without an invitation Jack sat in the chair opposite Daniel and began flipping through the pages of a book on his desk. Daniel could tell this was not a regular visit to kill time. Jack rarely did that now, and he never did it at two in the morning.  
  
"So, you have a briefing in six hours, which is going to be hard enough for you to get through as it is, even more so with you being completely sleep deprived. I know you went home over five hours ago..." Daniel said trailing off hoping Jack would continue.  
  
"So..." Jack said, not what he was wanting.  
  
"So why are you here?" Daniel asked.

"What. I can't come by and see you anymore?" Jack said sounding hurt.

"No Jack not here with me, why are you back here in the mountain?" Daniel said trying to squash any more of Jack's procrastination attempts.  
  
"Pete." Jack said simply.  
  
"Pete, as in..."  
  
"Carter's Pete yeah."  
  
"What about him?" Daniel asked, trying to hide the shock he was feeling that Jack was actually opening up to him.  
  
"He came to see my earlier." Jack continued.  
  
"At home?" Daniel asked for clarification.  
  
"Yeah, turned up around eleven. He was nuts." Jack said. Daniel gave him a questioning look. "Ok so not nuts, but he was upset." Jack said.  
  
"Jack, if you are trying to tell me you killed him and have him hanging in your basement I really think you should talk to a lawyer." Daniel said picking up his book.  
  
"Damn it Daniel!" Jack said jumping up.  
  
"What Jack? What do you want? You come in here, obviously wanting to talk or get advice, but you won't tell me anything that's wrong." Without responding Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out some paper handing it over to Daniel without looking at him. Daniel took it and began to glance over it. A second later he looked up.  
  
"Jack should I be reading this?" He asked.  
  
"Would I have handed it to you?" Jack said in a more frustrated tone.  
  
"I know you want me to read it but would she?"  
  
"Just do it Daniel."  
  
Daniel finished the letter a few minutes later but simply looked at it without saying anything. Finally Jack could not take it anymore.  
  
"Well?" Jack asked throwing his hands up in the air.  
  
"What, oh sorry...wow, who would've thought Sam could be so, mushy." Daniel said breaking out into a grin. Jack scrunched up a piece of paper and threw it at him grinning slightly himself; The tension seeming to break, Jack finally allowing Daniel in enough to help him with the problem.  
  
"Pete brought it by, got all personal then drove off like a mad thing."  
  
"Well I am assuming he found it, I can't blame him or being upset. His fiancé refers to you as her truth north and the partner she always desired. It has to hurt." Daniel said glancing back through the letter.  
  
"What should I do?" Asked Jack. Daniel looked at the man and was stunned by how unsure he was. For as long as Daniel had known him Jack was always in control, and when he wasn't, he pretended to be. Now, the man Daniel was looking at seemed totally different. This was not General Jack O'Neill, this was Jack.  
  
"Well, providing you don't want her to know you saw this, you can go back into her house and put it back. But that would involve finding out where it was."  
  
"Not an option." Jack said  
  
"Number 2, you hide it, never tell Sam you read it, chances are she will not look at them and if god forbid something happened to her she would think that it was given to you like she planed."  
  
"Could work, but what if she moves, and knows where they are and discovers it gone, what then?" Jack asked.  
  
"Option 3, you talk to her when she wakes up. She can tell you that she has moved on, that you can just forget what you read..."  
  
"Or?"  
  
"Or she could tell you that she feels the same way. And by all accounts I think the feelings are mutual." Daniel said, earning a glare from him.  
  
"But we have been there before, and this is just going to have acting awkward and weird with other, which will lead to anger and frustration...did I mention it would be weird." Jack said sitting down again.  
  
"Or it could be wonderful. I have no doubt that Sam has some very strong feelings for you Jack, I think I agree with what she said in this letter, you are to afraid, it does disturb you that someone could care that much for you."  
  
"It doesn't disturb me Daniel, it, unnerves me." Jack said gesturing to him to accentuate the clarification.  
  
"Yes Jack. But that question is, are you ready to try and make and something of it. Or are you going to ignore it."  
  
"Well I have a little problem, it's called a regulation, that states nothing can happen."  
  
"But there are ways around that, and whilst many of them lead to the retirement of one of you or the loss of a second SG 1 member, sometimes you have to look past that and see the greater good. I guess the only question is, do you love her?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Damn it Daniel." Jack muttered.  
  
"Simple question Jack."  
  
"I don't, not care for her I guess I care..." Jack began to stutter.  
  
"Jack, come on for once just forget the bravado and be honest." Daniel said looking him straight in the eyes.  
  
"Oh all right Daniel yes ok. I do, I love Sam Carter, but what am I supposed to do." Jack asked once again jumping up form his chair.  
  
"Tell her Jack. All you have to do is tell her." Daniel said reclining back with a smug look on his face. 


	21. 2031

A/N Well I am trying to get this out as fast as possible for you, but of course as soon as I really want to get into it I get like three extra shifts this week grrrr. Please tell me if my quality starts to go down...(I know I know- 'What quality?' you all say!) Thank you once again for all the nice reviews... makes my day...just like Stargate being on three nights in a row, bless you TV.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
Sam looked around as men and women, in similar clothes to her own SG uniforms began to move around her. It looked like the SGC, the concrete walls, the yellow marker lines of the floor, but something was off.  
  
"Where are we?" Sam asked Kariella.  
  
"You don't recognise it?" She asked Sam.  
  
"It looks just like the SGC, but different. These were blue, and we never had those." Sam said pointing to various controls and objects.  
  
"Well it's been a while since you were here last." Kariella told her.  
  
"What year is it?" Sam asked.  
  
"2031" Kariella told her calmly.  
  
"What!" Sam yelled. Sure enough, as she looked around it became clear she was in fact in the future. The computers she could see as she and Kariella walked the halls were like nothing she could imagine, the clothes they were wearing also looked advanced.  
  
"What's going on?" Sam asked as they entered the control room, which looked like the kind of control post Sam dreamed about having at the SGC in her time.  
  
"One of the off world colonies earth established has been hit. They are trying to organize a coordinated attack with three of the closest colonies to try and save it."  
  
"Off world colonies? We actually did that?" Sam asked.  
  
"In this scenario, yes. 42 of them in fact. They are used to produce machinery, weapons, high energy consumption items, Toyota even use one to manufacture the engines of the latest...I guess you could call them Hover-Cars." Kariella said with a smile.  
  
"How is that? I take it the Stargate became public knowledge?"  
  
"In 2008. It was not a smooth transition let me tell you." Kariella said.  
  
"What happened to SG 1? My friends?" Sam asked.  
  
"Daniel is a professor at Oxford, but thinking of retiring, he and Sarah moved back there a year after the people were told. Teal'c joined Ishta in leading the rebel Jaffa and have done wondrous things for their cause." Kariella said.  
  
"What about General O'Neill?" Sam asked quietly.  
  
"He did not take it too well. He moved up to his cabin and broke of contact with the world. You all tried to get through, but he just saw it was time to move on. He passed away a year ago, pneumonia." Kariella replied unable to keep the sadness out of her voice.  
  
Sam tried to take it all in, but she told herself that this was not real and things did not have to turn out that way. She was able to drag her attention back to what was happening in front of her. She was watching a technician work when she heard her own voice speaking. She turned to a video monitor and was stunned to see her own face. But it was not a face that had aged 27 years. She looked maybe five years older than she did at the present time.  
  
"My god!" Sam said as she watched herself send through a status report. She looked on openmouthed as she outlined the positions of teams and incoming assaults. She listened intently but felt her knees go weak as she saw her head bow and her eyes glow as she looked into the camera again.  
  
"General Carter is correct the forces on the west..." Sam did not hear anymore after that. She could not understand what was happening. Jack was gone, Sam had not aged, she could not even begin to form the questions she had.  
  
"You look confused Samantha." Kariella said.  
  
"You could say that. What the hell is going on?" Sam asked.  
  
"Allow me to explain. The Tok'Ra realised soon enough that they were better of with you than without you. A yeah before the program was made public, they asked for the SGC to aide them in a mission to bring down a powerful Goa'uld who was on his rise to dominant power. You were the ranking officer on the mission. All was going well until one of the Tok'Ra revealed himself as a minor Goa'uld who was sent to foil the plan. There was a large firefight, you were shot and a nearby Tok'Ra who's host was dieing did the only thing he could think of." Kariella told her. Sam paled at the explanation.  
  
"I don't believe it." Sam said.  
  
"You were very upset to begin with. General O'Neill even more so. It was a few weeks later, when a new host became available that you told Jack and the rest of the team you wanted to go with your dad, you wanted to stay blended with Kya, the symbiote."  
  
"I find that very hard to believe. I would never give up the SGC." Sam said defensively.  
  
"I can't say anything about that. But I can tell you that we have more to see." Kariella waved her hand Sam instinctively fell to the ground as they landed in the middle of a battle, staff blasts and energy weapons firing from every direction. Sam stood up and brushed her self off reflexively.  
  
"Sorry, habit." Sam said. "Is this the same battle we saw on the screens?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes, so tragic, so many lives lost." Kariella said in a soft voice.  
  
They two moved around and watched as both Jaffa, human and Tok'Ra went down in the crossfire. Sam saw herself running, firing a zat and using a ribbon device. Sam watched as her second self rounded a corner only to come face to face with a Jaffa. Too slow to raise either hand, Sam's body crumpled as the shot form the staff ripped through her. Sam looked on helplessly as her own body began to die in front of her. Another person ran to her side, Kariella and Sam moved in closer to hear what they were saying.  
  
"Kya, you must hide, we can heal you shortly." The person said.  
  
"There is no time." The gravelly voice replied.  
  
"Don't talk like that, you will be fine." The other person insisted  
  
"No it's time. She is here." Sam heard herself say.  
  
The person with her was about to say something once more when Sam's body began to softly glow. Everyone stepped back as the light grew in intensity until they were forced to shield their eyes. The clothes she had been wearing seemed to vanish and all that Sam could see of herself was a shimmering image of her face engulfed in the white light.  
  
The now incorporeal Sam moved swiftly over the large area causing Jaffa to disappear as she went.  
  
"Did I just do what I think I did?" Sam asked Kariella.  
  
"If you think you ascended and kicked some Jaffa ass then yes you did." Kariella said with a grin.  
  
"And they say I hang around Jack too much." Sam muttered. "So this is one other possibility?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yes. But I think we have seen enough." Kariella said waving her hand. 


	22. Proposal

A/N Ok so please allow me to apologize in advance for this. I have as of now been up for 39 hours straight! I decided I wanted to go dancing last night and never got to bed afterwards, and I wanted to get this out to you. If it is crap, well I am happy to repost when I am of a more sound state of mind.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
Thursday 1:30pm  
  
"General O'Neill, I am sorry to say but I am finding your recommendations a little hard to accept, what you are proposing is simply out of the question." General Vidrine said closing the file folder he was holding.  
  
"Yes Sir I can understand why you might feel that way, but if you look through some of my further suggestions you'll see that it is in fact a solid idea. One that I have given much attention and care to." Jack replied.  
  
Jack sat in the room with a group of some of the highest-ranking officers involved in the Stargate program. He was trying to keep himself together and remain calm, but he felt oddly nervous. He thought the day long meeting in Washington would have been a breeze, he had been preparing for it for three weeks, but sitting here, his mind back in the SGC infirmary, it was taking all his strength to get through it.  
  
"But this would see the complete refurbishment of the SGC as we know it. Not only that, you are not even aware if all parties involved are open to the idea's you have put forward." General Kerrigan said.  
  
"Gentlemen, I have no doubt that General O'Neill has thought long and hard about this." General Hammond said coming to his defense. Jack was finding it hard to suppress the urge to hug him.  
  
"I am in no way implying that General O'Neill has done his best with the assignment we gave him." General Vidrine said opening his folder again. "But I am unsure whether or not it is the most viable solution at this time. The cost to the SGC would be great and the potential for so many things to go wrong his something I don't think we can ignore."  
  
"It is a calculated risk I'll admit. But I have to see the bigger picture here. The worst things that could happen could all be fixed, there is plenty of time to iron out any wrinkles in fine print...I stand by my original recommendations." Jack said.  
  
"Gentlemen," General Ryan said gaining everyone's attention, al the men seemed inclined to sit a little straighter while he spoke, "I can only begin to understand what a big difference this is going to make. I have only second hand copy knowledge of the way the SGC works obtain through mission files and video footage, so I have to trust in the judgment of those who live the SGC life day to day. George, do you trust in the decision that Jack has made enough to back it in the White House?" He asked General Hammond.  
  
"Yes Sir, 100." George answered.  
  
"Jack, do you trust your decision enough to stand by it? Accepting the consequences and any repercussions that come with it?"  
  
"I do Sir." Jack replied.  
  
"Now, I want to make it clear, I am by no means holding the opinions of those directly involved with the SGC above anyone else's. I respect what everyone here is saying and I will admit to having some of the same hesitations as many of you. Which is why I am proposing that we implement General O'Neill's idea for a six-month trial period. At the end of which, we will reconvene with all parties involved for a full assessment and determine whether or not to continue in the same way or to come up with another course of action." Genral Ryan said. "Do I have any objections?" Everyone present shook their head to show him they did not object to the idea.  
  
"Very well then. Thank you for your time gentlemen, and see you in six months." General Ryan stood to leave and a round of crisp salutes went through the room.  
  
Jack was gathering up the rest of his papers when he felt a tap on his shoulder.  
  
"General Hammond, you should not better than to sneak up on an old man." Jack said. George let out a laugh and slapped him on the back.  
  
"I get the feeling you were not as in-depth as you could have been when you were describing Colonel Carter's condition earlier." George said.  
  
"I don't know what you mean Sir."  
  
"It's George and I think you do Jack. Let's take a walk."  
  
The two walked around the outside of the large building and came to rest on a park bench.  
  
"You may not like it Jack, but I know you. I know when you are concerned and I know when you are concerned for her." George said.  
  
"She is a good friend Sir, and a good person." Jack said to the ground.  
  
"Which means it is ok for you to worry Jack. I may have never mentioned it because you had the decency to never give me a reason to, but I know there is a very strong bond between you. I guess what I need to know, is that the reason behind your proposal?" George asked.  
  
"No Sir! Not at all, what I proposed in that room was strictly with the idea of what's best for the SGC in mind." Jack said.  
  
"That's all I needed to here Jack, I know you mean it. Now get back to her." George said standing up and bidding him a final goodbye walked back into the building.  
  
A/N Well I'm just as cruel as Netu! What is Jack up to? What is Sam seeing right now....many many reviews will get these questions answered a lot faster. 


	23. Waking up is hard to do

A/N so I left ya'll a little confused I see. Well never fear all will be revealed in good time my people all in good time. Now I am just going to go get some chocolate ice cream and I will be right back. Ok I just have to clear something up- this flash and the last one are in NO way connected. Oh and I am making Sam 36 in present time.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
"I DON'T CARE CAPTAIN! We have our orders to follow and they come from a lot higher up than you and your team leader."  
  
Sam and Kariella came into the room just in time to see a young female officer get yelled at by a person who Sam saw was in fact a Major. They were the only two in the room, which looked a lot like Sam's lab but it had more chemistry equipment in it she noticed.  
  
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think you understand the implications of what you are saying from a scientific point of view." The woman replied. Sam could see she was determined to make the general see things her way.  
  
Sam studied the two as they glared at each other. The man was around forty years old, not unattractive, and had black hair and dark green eyes. The woman looked younger, early 30's. She had similar blue eyes and light brown hair with flicks of blonde that was hanging around her shoulders in large barrel curls, a clear breech of uniform regulations but if the major noticed, he was not saying anything.  
  
"And what am I missing that is of such importance?" he asked her in a smug voice.  
  
"That if you interface that type of reactor with that engine, the radiation by-products would act as a catalyst causing the nitrogen to crystallize in the cooling valves, which would make them freeze up and the entire structure would overheat and rupture, with the components binding together to create an explosion that you could watch from the moon." She said trying to hide her smile of satisfaction.  
  
The man looked at her speechless for a moment and then before he could stop himself, a large grin spread across his face. "Which moon?" He asked. The woman laughed softly and slapped him playfully across the arm. Much to Sam's surprise he lent into her and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "I'll pass on that information with the report. What time do we have to be there tonight?"  
  
"As soon as we can be. I have a meeting that will run late, but we should make it no later than 20:00 hours." She said as she looped her arm around his neck.  
  
"Thirty-four years being married and your mother still hasn't killed your father yet, who would have thought? Try not to get caught up in an experiment or something." He said wrapping one arm around her.  
  
"Well maybe if you would stop coming in to distract me. And my dad is not so bad for an 84 year old." She chided.  
  
"Oh you're blaming me?" He asked.  
  
"Yes I am." She replied kissing him and slipping out of his grasp. "Now go before we get in trouble." She said.  
  
"Why would we get in trouble?"  
  
"Because I am a step away from making a very interesting piece of security tape footage involving you, me and this desk." She said giving him a wink.  
  
"You know I could order you to do that." He said.  
  
"Ah no you couldn't but nice try." She replied. "Good bye Major."  
  
"They aren't usually so amorous on base." Kariella said. "But they got engaged last night so they are having some fun."  
  
"Good for them." Sam said with a smile. "Who are they?" She asked.  
  
"The man who just left is Major David Lewis. In three weeks it will be Colonel Lewis but he doesn't know that yet." Kariella replied. "He heads SG 3 and she is on SG 5. They were both recruited by the SCG around the same time, he was chosen from a group of pilots and they have been after her for years." Kariella said.

"Why is that?" Sam asked.

"It was discovered by accident that she had a rare gene that enabled her to use the technology of the ancients." Kariella said.  
  
"That was one of the things the recruits for the Atlantis base were tested for." Sam said.  
  
"Yes but none of them had the ability to control it with thought process alone, they needed to touch the devices they were wanting to use." Kariella told her. Sam took a second to comprehend what she was saying, and was even more shocked when she saw the girl, now alone in her lab, look at an item Sam had never seen before, and it start to hum softly and a series of lights began to blink on it.  
  
"How is that possible? And can she do anything else?"  
  
"It was how the ancients protected their technology, they interfaced it. She has not other power, and she is still learning to control this one. She has undergone much testing to see how far her abilities go, but it seems that the only thing she can do is control Ancient technology designed to be moved by the mind. " Kariella said.  
  
"What did they interface it with?" Sam asked.  
  
"Themselves."  
  
"I don't understand. How could they do that?"  
  
"They were very smart, Sam."  
  
"Yes, but that's impossible."  
  
"You move your arm or leg just by telling it with your mind. Why not an object?" Kariella said.  
  
"I know that, but based on that principle, that would mean they were able to recreate neural pathways and somehow incorporate them into objects which would mean they were almost alive and I can't even begin to think how they did that." Sam said.  
  
"You are not meant to know Sam, and it is nothing against you, you just have no need to."  
  
"What year is it?" Sam asked.  
  
"2039" Kariella said.  
  
"And we are a the SGC I take it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So can you tell me anything that is going on?" Sam asked.  
  
"The Goa'uld were destroyed in 2012 thanks to there own arrogance and some very careful planning. A lot of innocent people had to die. Now the SGC is working with the Atlantis team and several off world sites and allies to try and take down the Wraith."  
  
"The What?"  
  
"They are the cliché, take one down and one worse comes along' bad guy. But we're not doing too badly." Kariella said.  
  
"So things are good?" Sam asked.  
  
"Yeah things are good." Kariella said with a laugh.  
  
"Can I see myself, I would be 72 now." Sam said cringing.  
  
"Sure. Come on." Kariella stretched out her hand and felt Sam take it as she waved them away.  
  
The two appeared beside a lake, it was warm and there were a couple of people on boats and a few others having picnics by the water.  
  
"Where are we?" Sam asked.  
  
"Where you are." Kariella replied. As she did, she pointed to a group of people sitting on rugs with plates of food spread out in front of them. Sam moved closer and let out a small gasp as she saw herself, and old woman, although looking relatively good for 72. With her were a younger man and woman and two small children, who Sam was spoiling with attention as she sat and played.  
  
"Wow." Sam said.  
  
"Yeah, things look pretty good don't they." Kariella said.  
  
"Who are they?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well the woman is your daughter, and that is her husband and their twins. You have another daughter, an older one, she is going to be along later. She is not married but she is hoping something will happen with her latest flame." Kariella said.  
  
Sam was unable to speak. The idea that she not only three children, she had two grandchildren and the potential for more, was overwhelming.  
  
"You had your eldest in 2007, and the next two in 2010. It was hard but you managed to keep working and you never felt that you missed out on anything. Your grandchildren are now four and you could not be happier. You retired in 2020, two years after you got your stars." Kariella said. The look of sheer joy on Sam's face was almost comical.  
  
"How?" Sam asked in and soft voice, her emotions threatening to bubble over.  
  
"Well if you really want me to explain that I guess I could but..."  
  
"No, no sorry," Sam said smiling. "How do I make this happen? How do I get this?" Sam asked.  
  
"I can't tell you that." Kariella said.  
  
"But it is perfect, it is everything I want, a family, my career, no Goa'uld, and you are not going to tell me?"  
  
"Sam, it's not so black and white. And you have only seen the good. There have been some very painful things you have had to go through to get here. Some are very awful, but I thought you could see a happy ending was possible after what I showed you before." Kariella told her.  
  
"So I can't have this, this is some way to torture me? What, this way doesn't help me fulfill this little prophecy you say there is about me?"  
  
"I never said that. I never said whether you did that in the other visions either. There are many that could fulfill it, you are just a little higher on 'their' list than others. But please don't think this is not important, it is. You can't forget what you have seen here. Like your mother and Janet told you, everything that you have been shown has been for a reason. And now we have to go."  
  
Sam took one last longing look at the future she had dreamed of before Kariella waved her hand and they were back in the white room.  
  
"So that is it?" Sam asked.  
  
"Your body is healed enough and you can longer be away from it." She heard Brae's voice say.  
  
"I go back? That's it. You make me relive some of the most horrible things of my life, make me question every choice I am making, wave this perfect existence in front of me without telling me how to get it, give me some lecture about how damn important I am but won't say how or why and you JUST EXPECT ME TO LEAVE!" Sam yelled.  
  
"Samantha, you are indeed very important, but the most important thing you can do is wake up and be yourself, and remember what you have learnt." Kariella said. "It was wonderful talking to you." Kariella said before leaving the room through the wall.  
  
"Well Samantha, it seems it is time for us to also say good bye. I hope that this was fulfilling for you, even the painful memories. We had no intention to hurt you, just to show you what you need to know, and sometimes ignore." Brae said.  
  
"I understand. I just wish there were more answers you could give me, but I also understand why you can't. Now if I was General O'Neill, you'd have a lot harder time getting rid of me without answering my questions." Sam laughed.  
  
"I agree. Lie down Samantha, it has been wonderful talking to you." Brae said. Sam moved over and lay down on the bed again.  
  
"You too Brae. Thank you."  
  
"Keep well Samantha, and don't worry about anything, I think you will do just fine."  
  
Sam closed her eyes and began to feel herself drift off. It was then she realised that she had not even bothered to ask Kariella who she had married in the last vision. 


	24. We deserve more

A/N I am a on a roll now, I have been DIEING having to wait to write these coming chapters. So you will get them pretty fast. I hope people are not bored with this story now!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
Sam felt a familiar sensation, pain, definitely pain. She let out a small groan as she opened her eyes. She recognized her surroundings when she saw the familiar items of the infirmary.  
Moving her head to the side, she saw Daniel fast asleep in the bed next to her. She was about to say something when a voice spoke form her other side.  
  
"Good morning Colonel. Nice to see you." Dr Brightman said.  
  
"Hi. Could I have some water?" Sam asked with a croaky voice.  
  
"Sure." She said handing her a cup and helping her take a sip.  
  
"What happened?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well you passed out on Monday morning, General O'Neill rushed you in here." Dr Brightman said making some notes on her chart and placing something in the IV which Sam felt the smooth effect of right away.  
  
"What day is it now? Sam asked.  
  
"It's just gone 06:00 Friday. You've been asleep for a while now."  
  
"How long has he been here?" Sam asked pointing to Daniel.  
  
"He came in just after midnight. Teal'c should be here any minute." Dr Brightman said with a grin. "I have not had that bed since Monday."  
  
"Wow." Sam was about to say something else when the door opened to reveal Teal'c coming in with a book and chocolate bar in his hand.  
  
"Hey Teal'c." Sam said softly. Teal'c looked as surprised as Teal'c could.  
  
"Colonel Carter, it is good to see you awake."  
  
"Thanks. A little early for candy isn't it?" Sam asked smiling.  
  
"This bar is designed to help you work rest and play, I do believe it is a good choice for a morning meal." Sam let out a soft laugh, which must have woken Daniel.  
  
"Sam your up!" He said almost jumping out of the bed.  
  
"Yeah, good to see you." Sam said. "I hear you two have been watching me all week. You didn't need to do that." Sam said reaching out to clasp Daniel's hand.  
  
"Oh it wasn't just us. Jack was here too. Oh speak of the devil." Daniel said turning to the door as it opened and Jack stepped in.  
  
"Don't speak about Kinsey on my base Daniel." Jack said patting his arm as he walked by. "Brightman just called, said you decided to wake up." He said looking at Sam. He moved to her side and almost hesitantly touched her forearm, scared to show any affection now she was awake, when he had been touching her hands almost constantly for a week when she was asleep.  
  
"Can't sleep forever." She said taking his hand in her own.  
  
"Oh I think I could try." Jack replied with a grin. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I don't want to see what happened to my lab with a week of free for all access." Sam said closing her eyes.  
  
"No one touched it Carter, I thought you might get a little antsy if you got back and something was broken or missing." Jack said.  
  
"Thank you Sir." Sam said.  
  
"Well I have some things to do, Sam, I'll stop by in a bit and sneak you in some jello." Daniel said. He and Teal'c turned to leave.  
  
"And a snickers if Teal'c has a spare one." Sam called out.  
  
"Indeed." He said with a bow of his head.  
  
Jack pulled up a near by stool and sat down. Sam looked as he made himself comfortable; he obviously had done this a lot in the last week.  
  
"So, how are things on base Sir, I was going to do an overhaul of the dialing program..." Jack cut her off.  
  
"Carter you have been unconscious for a week and been in surgery twice and you're acting like you just woke up from a good nights sleep. Relax!" Jack said.  
  
"Good thing about a morphine drip Sir, and I feel surprisingly good considering." Sam said.  
  
"So Brightman will fill you in on what's going on. But I think you should know, you are going to be fine." Jack said.  
  
"I know, I had a feeling everything was ok. Waking up was a good indication of that." Sam said.  
  
"You responded well to treatment, better than they thought, but you still may be a little shaky for a few days. Pete's on his way. I called him before I came down." Jack said.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Ah Sam, listen I just want you to know that I...I guess what I'm trying to tell you is..." Jack never got to finish his ramblings, Dr Brightman came into view and he could not speak.  
  
"General Sir, security called, Mr. Shanahan is waiting to come down."  
  
"Thank you." Jack said. He turned back to Sam. "I'll go get someone to escort him here. I'll come by later." Jack said and was half way to the door before Sam could speak.  
  
"Sir wait..." Whether he heard or not, Jack had no intention of stopping,  
  
Sam lay for five minutes before Pete got there. When he came in, she could see something was wrong. He seemed distant, cold almost. He sat down without even touching her.  
  
"Hi." She said.  
  
"Hi." He replied. "How are you feeling?" He asked.  
  
"Fine, how are you?" Sam asked.  
  
"Good."  
  
"How's the house?" Sam asked trying to get him to open up.  
  
"Daniel's been looking in on it with your neighbor."  
  
"Oh, did you get called back?" Sam asked. The realizing he could not have got here so fast if he had been in Denver.  
  
"No, I've been staying at the Bursway." Pete said.  
  
"Oh, you know you could have stayed in the house, it's ok." What is wrong with him, Sam thought to herself. "Pete, is everything ok?" She asked.  
  
"I don't know Sam, is it?" He asked.  
  
"I've been in a coma for a week Pete, how would I know?" Sam was shocked at how he was acting.  
  
"I was staying in the house. I found the letters Sam." Pete said.  
  
"What letters?" Sam asked confused.  
  
"The letters you wrote to your loved ones, the letters you wrote to Casie, Daniel, Teal'c, your dad, and Jack."  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Sam said trying to figure out what he meant; a cold feeling washed over her as she realised what he was talking about. "Did you read them?" She asked.

"Ah you remember now. I noticed I didn't get one that's all." He said.  
  
"Look, I wrote them when I was feeling down ok. I needed to get a lot off my chest. And things were going so well with us, I couldn't think about us that way, it was too painful." Sam said.  
  
"What? Too painful to tell me sorry I didn't love you?" Pete spat.  
  
"You did read them." Sam said.  
  
"Only one. I thought the line about wanting to wake up in his arms was the best part." Pete was almost growling his words.  
  
"Pete I meant nothing by it. It doesn't mean I don't love you; I just had to make sure he knew. I could never tell him to his face but he had a right to know."  
  
"Well the fact that you basically are praying for a way for you two to get together kind of contradicts that Sam." Pete was breathing heavily now, Sam was not sure if he was going to scream or cry, either way she knew she had to be careful with what she said.  
  
"Then why am I wearing your r..." Sam held up her hand, and visible paled when she realised she was not wearing her ring. Pete pulled it out of his pocket slowly.  
  
"Teal'c gave it to me. Look Sam, you know how I feel, but I am giving you the chance, just tell me and I will walk out. I won't be responsible for you living a big 'what if'. We deserve more than that."  
  
Sam looked at him for a long time unable to speak. Images of everything she had seen rushed back to her, as she sorted through them all, one thing became clear.  
  
"Pete I'm so sorry..." He stood up and silenced her with his hand.  
  
"I just want you to be happy Sam, keep safe ok, and don't avoid me if you see me on the street." Pete said leaning in and kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"Pete, you are a wonderful man, I don't deserve you, but someone does." Sam said kissing him back. Pete let out a small laugh.  
  
"Yeah, but Sam, don't dance around any more, talk to him." He said nothing else as he got up to leave.  
  
Sam lay crying softly feeling sorry for herself and for him, she wished she could have loved him, but something inside her was telling her she had done the right thing. 


	25. Changes

A/N This is my last chapter for the night as I have to work early tomorrow and it is late but I HAVE to put this up now.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
It had been 10 days since Sam had woken up. She had been home for seven of them and was happy to be on base this morning, even if it was just to get her stitches out. She was about to leave, but thought she felt like a cup coffee, she pondered for a moment and decided to ask Jack if he wanted one.  
  
"Sir?" She said knocking on his door.  
  
"Carter, come in. How are you?" Jack said obviously happy to see her, and to have a distraction from his paperwork.  
  
"Fine Sir thank you. I just got my stitches out." Sam said, almost sounding relieved.  
  
"Glad to hear. Say Carter, now that you are here, I have a matter to discuss with you. We can wait until you are officially on duty, but I have a quiet afternoon so if you can spare the time..." Jack said indicating the seat opposite him.  
  
"Of course Sir. I was actually coming to see if you wanted to join me for a coffee." Sam said sitting down.  
  
"Well, I'll pour us a cup, just a sec." Jack left and no more than a minute later came back in with two coffees. He sat hers down and pushed a side a pile of folders to place his own down on the desk.  
  
"So..." He said.  
  
"So..." Sam said. A moment of silence fell on them. "You wanted to talk to me about something." Sam offered.  
  
"Right, right. Do you know Colonel Sumner?" Jack asked.  
  
"The commander of the Alpha Site? Yes I do." Sam replied.  
  
"Well it seems that Sumner, is being transferred, his wife has been offered some fantastic job in San Diego and he has asked to be positioned out there." Jack told her.  
  
"Wow," Sam said "that is very, noble, of him Sir." Sam said.  
  
"That's what I said. Problem now is, we have no one to command the Alpha Site."  
  
"Oh." Was all Sam could say, she was wondering why he was telling her this.  
  
"I was given the enjoyable task of combing through personnel records trying to come up with a recommendation for the position." Jack told her.  
  
"Really Sir...I bet you loved that." Sam said with a smirk. Jack could not help but grin back at her.  
  
"Oh you know me and paperwork Carter, it's a... non-existent relationship." Jack said brushing a pile of papers aside.  
  
"So, did you want my advice or opinion on someone Sir?" Sam asked.  
  
"No, I have made my recommendation. Gave the big boys up stairs a full report while you were sleeping. And they agreed to a trial period, but I don't think anything will need to change."  
  
"Who did you suggest Sir, if you don't mind me asking Sir?" Sam said.  
  
"Well Carter, it's a scientist actually. Also an officer, a long association with the SGC and the gate, apparently one of the finest fighter pilots to come out of Air Force and everyone agreed that with some back up from us earthlings they'll do a fine job." Jack said. Sam was looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face.  
  
"Wow Sir, sounds like a good choice, who is he?" Sam asked.  
  
"Well Carter, SHE is someone you know very well." Jack said with a smile.  
  
"She, wait who are you talking..." Sam's eyes went wide as she let herself think of the possibility. "Sir you don't mean..."  
  
"Yes Carter, I do."  
  
"But Sir! I'm no where near ready to command an entire facility, especially one like the alpha site, I have no where near enough experience..." Sam began to rant as she paced back and forth.  
  
"Sam!" Jack said forcefully to grab her attention. He stood up himself and walked over so he was directly in front of her. "Sam, I can think of no one better I would want running the second line of defense for this planet...who do you thinks been running this place all these years? Without you we'd all be dust by now." Jack said.  
  
"Sir, I don't know what to say."  
  
"Well yes, might be a good idea. I understand if you need time to think about this, I know you probably need to speak to Pete and work out a few things..." Sam cut him off.  
  
"That won't be a problem Sir."  
  
"What won't be?" Jack asked.  
  
"Pete. We aren't together anymore Sir. He wasn't right for me." Sam said looking down at the floor.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know." Jack said, mentally kicking himself in the ass over and over again.  
  
"It's fine Sir, you know how it is." Sam replied trying to lighten the mood.  
  
"That I do. So I can assume I can send the memo back to Hammond with the YES box ticked?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
"Well then Colonel Carter, you are officially on leave for the next ten days, to fully recover and to organize any personal issues."  
  
"Yes Sir...General, I, I don't know what to say, thank you for trusting me."  
  
"You're a fine officer Sam, and more than ready for this. You have good leadership skills." Jack said.  
  
"I learned from the best Sir." Sam said lightly clasping his forearm. Jack was so taken back by the compliment and the sincerity in her voice he did the only thing he could do.  
  
"Yeah Hammond was good like that." He replied. Sam shook her head and laughed softly at him. Happy the tension was broken. "Come here you big techno-babble nut." Jack said extending his arms which Sam happily went into. The two stood together like that for a while, just enjoying the closeness. After a minute it became apparent that if one of them didn't move, they never would. Sam slowly pulled herself back, but was a little thrilled at the way Jack's hand lingered on her hip as she stood in front of him.  
  
"Do Daniel and Teal'c know?" She asked.  
  
"In the words of Teal'c, indeed." Jack said, causing Sam to smile once again. "Daniel wrote you a really nice, but oh so long recommendation as well. We have a little thing planned for O'Malleys tonight if you are up for it." Jack said.  
  
"Well I can't drink because of the meds I am on but sure, I'd love to." Sam replied.  
  
"Excellent. See you at seven. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I have an SG team coming back now, I should really know that for sure shouldn't I?" Jack said.  
  
"Probably Sir, but I won't tell. I'll get out of your hair. And Sir, thank you once again." Sam said, unable to resist, she lent in and kissed him softly on the cheek.  
  
"Don't mention it." Jack said.  
  
Sam left the room and walking down the halls was unable to believe what had happened. She just took a new job which would have her off world six days a week and no longer on SG 1 or at the SGC. She almost stopped dead in her tracks when the last fact hit her... She was no longer under Jack's command.  
  
A/N Reviewers make god lovers! Trust me I know! 


	26. It Finally is

A/N This is it! Shippers sit back and relax! I hope I do this well, I am trying.  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
Sam sat in her lab going through her email, stunned that the SlimFast company had managed to get her internal email address that was not accessible from outside computers...marketers! She was getting ready to head home to get ready for the thing at O'Malleys later on when there was a soft knock on her door, which open to revealed Daniel standing there with a huge smile on his face.  
  
"I take it congratulations are in order?" He said.  
  
"I guess, what do you think?"  
  
Without saying anything Daniel moved around to her side and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"I think you deserve this Sam, I'm really proud of you." He said into her ear.  
  
"Thanks Daniel, that means a lot to me." Sam replied hugging him a little tighter. The two pulled away and sat down at Sam's desk.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Daniel asked her.  
  
"Oh you know, as good as I can. Doesn't help that I'm bored out of my mind." Sam replied.  
  
"Well I can imagine that things are going to get a little more interesting for you." Daniel said.  
  
"Yeah, I have so many ideas already I don't know where to begin. I mean the tactical advantage alone of having two fully operational SG facilities is incredible." Sam said with a child like enthusiasm.  
  
"Yeah very...tactical. So have you spoken to Jack since he told you?" Daniel asked.  
  
"I called him to let him know I was going to stop by here. That's it." Sam said.  
  
"Oh right."  
  
"Why do you ask?" Sam questioned.  
  
"No reason, so are you looking forward to tonight?" He said changing the subject, something Sam noticed.  
  
"I am, it should be fun."  
  
"Well I love to stay and chat," Daniel said standing up "but I really have to finish something for SG 4. But I'll see you later tonight ok?"  
  
"Sure Daniel. See you then." Sam replied.  
  
Later that night, Sam stood nervously outside the door to the bar. She had decided to put a little effort into her appearance, and was now considering going home to change again. Her bootleg black pants went well with the burgundy halter neck top and black leather jacket. Her stiletto heals gave her an extra bit of height, not that she needed it, and the light make up she wore was just enough to transform her from colonel to vixen.  
  
She took a deep breath and pushed open the door and entered. As soon as she did she received a few appreciative glances from two men sitting near the door. She smiled politely and was about to look around the room when she felt someone come up very close behind her and place on of their hands over her eyes and the other arm wrap around her waist.  
  
"Surprise." A soft voice whispered in her ear. Sam gasped and felt a small shiver run down her spine as she smelt the familiar cologne. With out realizing it Sam had leaned back into the warm embrace and was holding the arm around her stomach. "Walk forward." The voice said again. Sam felt herself being guided by tables and chairs trough the club until she was pulled to a stop. Seconds later she felt the warm arms pull away and instantly wanted them back. She opened her eyes and let out a loud laugh of surprise as she was greeted by what looked like a mini surprise party. There were a few balloons here and there on the sides of the booth and a banner saying "Go Sam!" was stuck on the wall.  
  
"Do you like it?" The voice asked behind her. Sam turned around to finally see the person who owned the arms. Jack's brown eyes were wide with hope that she had liked the surprise, and she did not disappoint him by breaking out into a huge grin and pulling him into a hug.  
  
"I love it Sir thank you." She said.  
  
"Come on you two, plenty of time for that later." Daniel said. Sam and Jack pulled back sheepishly and slid into the booth across from Daniel and Teal'c.  
  
Within no time the four were onto the next of many drinks and were laughing at Daniel who was getting very enthusiastic over the most little things.  
  
"Soap on a rope, that has to be one of the greatest inventions of all time." He said to Sam.  
  
"Yes Daniel." Sam said turning to Jack. "He's not drinking anymore is he?" Sam asked.  
  
"Oh no." Jack said taking the glass out of Daniel's hand.  
  
"Jack, dance with Sam." Daniel said.  
  
"Daniel Jackson, be quiet." Teal'c said.  
  
"Come on Jack you made me get them to agree to play the song when you asked! Dance with her." Daniel said more eagerly.  
  
"Daniel, shut up." Jack said.  
  
"Song sir?" Sam asked.  
  
"It's nothing Sam."  
  
"Oh it is Sam. Go on Jack, I'll go talk to the manager." Daniel said jumping out of the booth and heading over to the bar.  
  
"Sir, what's going on?" Sam asked. Without answering, Jack stood up and stretched out his hand to Sam who shyly took it in her own and allowed her self to be pulled to the dance floor. The two stood face to face as Jack placed his hands on Sam's hips and she stepped in closer to wrap her arms around his neck.  
  
She had no idea what she was doing, not yesterday he was General O'Neill, the man she could never have, and now she was getting ready to dance with him? She thought she had moved fast with Pete but this was electric.  
  
"I'm going to kill Daniel." Jack said looking over to where he had sat back next to Teal'c. They stood softly swaying to the end of the song on and Sam felt Jack begin to tense as the final notes played out.  
  
Sam had thought the manager might be going to say something, but almost felt faint when she heard the familiar guitar intro to a favourite song of hers. She looked up at Jack who was barely able to make eye contact with her. Realising that it wasn't the time yet, Sam rested her head on his shoulder as the two danced to the song.

I guess I'm just one of those Who believes there has to be a reason For living and breathing Every time you pull me close Something tells me there'll be no more reaching You're everything I'm needing

Oh, I don't know how it happened, I never thought I would Find someone to complete me Oh, I just can't explain it, this feeling that I get Oh, ain't no way to name it, but I'm thinking baby  
  
Maybe it's the way you look at me Like there'll never be another I get swept away, baby when We get so caught up in each other I don't know where you end and I begin Where you end and I begin

She was unsure just what this meant. Was Jack trying to tell her something? They danced for the rest of the song without looking at each other and as it came to an end, Sam felt him press a soft kiss to her cheek. She pulled away and forced him to make eye contact with her.  
  
"Do you wan to get some air?" He asked.  
  
"Sure." Sam said.  
  
The two headed outside and were soon sitting on the large stone wall outside the restaurant, neither of them wanting to speak. After what seemed like an hour, but was actually only a minute at best Jack broke the quiet spell.  
  
"I'm sorry if this is too much." He said.  
  
"What? No, it's just a surprise." Sam said.  
  
"Really?" Jack replied.  
  
"I didn't think Pete would show it to you." Sam told him.  
  
"Well if it makes any difference, I'm really glad he did. And I understand if you still need time, you know. But I had to tell you, I was sick of just pretending it was all ok." Jack said jumping off the wall.  
  
"What if I'd said no?" Sam asked.  
  
"Then I would have danced with Daniel." Jack replied.  
  
"I meant the job Jack, what if I had told you I did not want to leave the SGC?" Sam said in clarification.  
  
"Then the letter I sent would have been my resignation." Jack told her softly, cupping her face in his hands.  
  
"You couldn't do that." Sam said.  
  
"Which is why I'm glad you said yes." Jack whispered leaning in. His lips brushed lightly across hers, teasing her and pulling away before she could fully respond. "Tell me to back off if you want." He said.

Sam responded by reaching in and kissing him again, but this time neither pulled away as they began to gently explore each others lips. It was a need to draw breath that made Sam pull back. As she did she began to laugh and pulled him into crushing hug.  
  
"Well better to laugh at my lips than anything else." Jack said, causing Sam to laugh even more.  
  
"This can't be happening." Sam said touching his cheek.  
  
"It is, Sam it finally is." Jack said.  
  
Sam leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before murmuring to him "I told you I'd come back to you." Jack pulled back and stared into her eyes, a feeling of pure shock running through his entire body.  
  
"That was real?" Jack asked.  
  
"I have such a story to tell you Jack." Sam said.  
  
"Well I know just the place." Jack replied taking her hand.  
  
"Oh really?" Sam asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, it's beautiful, quiet, clean fresh air," Jack let go of her hand "and the bas grow this big!" He said stretching out his arms.


	27. The final step

A/N- Ok so I thought I needed to sum things up and potentially lead on to a sequel. I know I have left a few questions but I am trying to answer them as I go. I think this chapter is going to get a little sappy here and there but you know its fanfic I'll do whatever I want! Oh it gets a little raunchy, who would have thought I had such a gutter mind...I blame Eridanimoon...I am hooked on her stuff! Thanks to all the reviwers and Selmak-Jacob..your email addie cut off..can I use the one in your profile?

Shanks-Away!

Captain-Doctor

Five months after the night at O'Malleys.  
  
Sam stood at the bottom of the small staircase waiting for the final chevron to lock on the gate.  
  
"Have a good weekend Colonel, bring me back some doughnuts." Captain Sheffield called from the small control room that held the DHD.  
  
"Will do Captain. Don't forget to turn the lights out." Sam replied with a grin she sent through her code.  
  
It had been four and a half months since Sam took over her command of the alpha site, and despite the fact that she was not in the field as much, and she could only go back to earth every second weekend at most, she loved it.  
  
It was different, and some things she still could not get used to, like the second moon, and the night sky that had an incredibly high visibility rating because there was no light pollution from the surface, something she took great delight in showing people when they visited from earth. The fact she had an actual DHD in her control booth was still hard to get used to, but an automatic dialing sequence she devised and hooked up to it gave her a little more sense of familiarity.  
  
She had sold her house, and when she came back to earth she either ended up speaking to Daniel and Teal'c till they feel asleep in his lab, or they got together at his or Jack's place and she stayed there. Jack had convinced her to sell her house and store her things at this place, and although she was apprehensive at first, it had worked out well. She had a tidy nest egg form the sale of her house and she knew her things were well looked after.  
  
And most of all, she had the one thing she never thought she could have, an actual adult relationship with Jack. The thought of which never failed to make her smile. They were taking it slowly, allowing it to grow at it's own pace, but Sam knew it was going to last. Which is why she had decided that this was going to be the weekend where they took that final step...yes hard to believe they had been able to not just jump into bed with each other the first chance they got, but they did not want to give any one any reason to believe that they had been acting against regulations before her transfer.  
  
Sam stepped through the event horizon and still had a large smile on her face, she was greeted by an equally large smile from Daniel who was waiting for her at the bottom of the ramp.  
  
"Welcome to earth." He said holding his hand in a Star Trek style salute.  
  
"Hey Daniel." She said pulling him into a hug. "How are you?"  
  
"Good. It's been quiet actually. You?"  
  
"Great. We think we've made a new ally. They have a huge naquadah mine, they did not even know it was there, and they are happy to trade with us."  
  
"Oh really?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Don't worry Daniel I was going to talk to you about it tomorrow, I might see if General O'Neill will let you come and stay with me or a few days and help with the talks. It should be easy, you won't believe what they want." Sam said shaking her head.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Let's just say General O'Neill may need to set up a direct account with the Hershey Company." Sam said with a giggle.  
  
"They want chocolate?" Daniel asked in disbelief.  
  
"Oh yeah, Major Castleton took some for the kids of a local village and they loved it. We may need to organize a dentist to visit in a year as well." Sam replied.  
  
"Well that's seems easy enough." Daniel said.  
  
Sam was about to respond when her attention was redirected to the door opening to the side of her. She felt a familiar increase in her heart rate as she saw him coming towards her. The change did not go unnoticed by Daniel who was trying not to grin at the two.  
  
"Good evening Carter, nice to see you." Jack said to her.  
  
"Evening Sir. How are you?" Sam asked, she knew this routine, act as professional as possible and then she would go to his office where she would get a proper hello.  
  
"Oh I'm fine, and dandy in fact."  
  
"Hey, why don't I call Teal'c and we go for Pizza?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Actually," Sam started. " I wanted to get a few things to take back with me form your place Sir. Why don't we order in?" Sam asked, hoping she covered her desire to be at Jack's by including everyone.  
  
"That sounds fine. Unless you two would like to be alone..." Daniel started.  
  
"Daniel." Jack said in a mock growl.  
  
"Oh no, no, sorry I didn't mean it like that, I just meant if you wanted to have some time to catch up and if you wanted time to go through your things Sam we could just wait until lunch tomorrow." Daniel said trying to sound casual. The usual routine was to have dinner on Friday, have lunch and do something to on Saturday together and then have dinner on Sunday before Sam left. It seemed like a lot but when two or three weeks passed without seeing the people you were used to seeing everyday, you tried to get as much in as possible. And most of the time, someone was working or had something to do in one of the engagements but they always made sure the four of them did at least one thing together.  
  
"No Daniel, we'll order pizza, drink beer, it'll be fine." Jack looked at his watch, 19:00, already late. "Why don't we say an hour? Colonel if I could borrow you for a minute, I need to have you sign something that I was told was important. I didn't actually read it." Jack said waving his hand in the direction of his office.  
  
"Sure Sir, lead the way. See you soon Daniel." Sam said following Jack who was already moving to his office.  
  
Sam stood at his desk reading through a memo from General Hammond, Jack was right, it was important, he wanted to incorporate the alpha site into the training of new recruits and needed to organize a visit to the site so they could discuss it. As she was reading the next one on her list she felt a set of arms snake around her waist and a set of soft lips begin to kiss her neck.  
  
"You know the bass commander might get a bit mad if he catches us." Sam said moving her head to the side to allow Jack more access.  
  
"He won't mind, he still owes you for saving his ass." Jack murmured. Sam spun around still in his grasp and planted a passionate kiss on his lips and lightly ground her hips into his, Jack almost yelped in surprise. The two pulled back gasping slightly.  
  
"I've missed you." Jack said pressing his forehead to hers.  
  
"Same, how are you really?" Sam asked him.  
  
"To tell you the truth, bored out of my skull." Jack said stepping back.  
  
"What?" Sam asked.  
  
"It's boring here now, without going into the field, without you, it's just..."  
  
"Dull" Sam said.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm sorry you feel like that." Sam said.  
  
"Don't be, some bad guy will come along soon trying to wipe us all out and it'll pick up." Jack said once again wrapping his arms around her.  
  
"We should get going." Sam said to him trying not to give into the silky kisses Jack was inflicting on her neck and jaw.  
  
"Yeah we should." Jack mumbled between kisses.  
  
"Oh god..." Sam breathed in deeply as Jack bite on her earlobe. Realising she was right, Jack pulled back with a stupid grin on his face.  
  
"You know we could always take Daniel up on his offer..."  
  
"As much as I'd like to, we told them it was fine." Sam said.  
  
"AH Ah! You told them it was fine." Jack said pointing at her. Before he could stop her Sam reached out and bit his finger lightly and ran her tongue slowly around it as she drew back. Jack stood there in shock wondering whom the woman standing before him was. Certainly wasn't his Colonel Carter...maybe the water at the Alpha Site was having an effect on her. Sam let out a short laugh at the expression on his face and guided him out the door.  
  
It was nearly midnight and the four were happy to sit around Jack's living room ignoring the movie that was playing and chatting about old times and future possibilities. Daniel and Teal'c sat in the armchairs while Jack and Sam were on the sofa together, Jack sitting on one end and Sam laying down using his lap as a pillow. Jack ran his hand through her hair and thought she was falling asleep. He didn't realise every single touch felt like it was waking up a different nerve and sending a lightning like pulse through her body. When she felt like she was about to crawl out of her skin, she decided to put her plan into action. She had stopped taking part in the conversation several minutes before, so continuing to ignore them; she rolled slightly onto her side with her eyes close and drew her arms to her chest. She heard Daniel say her name but made no effort to answer him.  
  
"I think someone has gate-lag." Daniel said.  
  
"Yeah, maybe we should call it a night " Jack said, "are you staying here?" he asked. Sam tried not to tense at his offer.  
  
"No, we'll head back to the base, and we are meeting you at Elio's for lunch?" Daniel asked.  
  
"Sure." Jack said.  
  
"Ok well don't get up. See you tomorrow Jack."  
  
"Goodnight O'Neill." Teal'c said.  
  
"Night T, night Danny." Jack said, he still continued to run his hand along Sam, traveling her bare forearm now. Sam was about to crack she knew it. She heard the door shut and waited for a minute until she heard Daniel's car start up, she was happy Jack had not tried to 'wake her' yet. Just as she was sure he was about to try and move her Sam shot up with a dancers like grace and was sitting next to him, then continued to move around until she was straddling his lap. When there she placed her hands over her chest and began to kiss him wildly. After a minute or two she pulled back from him, both of them were breathing heavily and Jack looked shocked.  
  
"I thought they'd never leave!" Sam said throwing her head back in exasperation.  
  
"You little devil!" Jack said realizing she had been playing them all.  
  
"You have an objection General?" Sam practically purred as she slid a hand under his shirt.  
  
"None at all." Jack said reaching in for another kiss. The two began to torture each other with long caresses and searing kisses, Jack's desire becoming painfully obvious to Sam as she sat on his lap still.  
  
"Oh god Jack..." she whispered as he cupped her breast in one hand eased the other up the back of her shirt almost losing it at the feel of her bare skin. "Jack, make love to me." She almost drawled into his ear softly.  
  
"Are you sure?" He asked looking directly into her eyes.  
  
"Jack if you're going for a foreplay record trust me you've got it, no one else will ever reach the eight year mark...I love you Jack, let me show you." Needing no other encouragement Jack jumped up with Sam still around his waist and moved into the bedroom.  
  
When they reached it, Sam almost became shy, this was is it, and this was the last bridge between them. Sensing her unease, Jack stood in front of her, the two of them by the bed, and slipped off the shirt he had been wearing. Sam could help herself as she reached out and touched him, Jack gasped she raked her nails down his chest. Taking her wrists, Jack raised her arms above her head and maneuvered her shirt up and off. He bent down, slowly tracing kisses down her stomach, stopping at her navel to run his tongue around it. Sam moaned loudly as Jack kissed his way back up his could not help the primal grunt that came from his chest when he saw Sam had removed her bra and he was able to see her bare breasts.  
  
"Jesus Sam." He moved in and kissed her mouth once again, lowering them both to the bed. The feeling of there chests pressed together almost made Sam scream in pleasure. While Jack was still kissing Sam's neck and collar bone, his hand moved down and he undid the button and zipper of her jeans in record time. Sam nearly smirked and asked him how many times he had done that. But instead she was forced to bite Jack's shoulder to hold in her scream as his hand slipped inside her jeans and his fingers began to slowly explore her core. Sam managed to squeeze her hands in between them and undid his khakis, pushing them down slightly.  
  
Within no time, the two were totally naked and Sam felt like she was being scalded every time Jack touched her. He was in complete control, using his hands and mouth on her in ways she had never thought possible, causing sensations she never dreamed. He would take her to the brink and have her chanting his name, only to pull them both back to draw out the experience. Sam couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Jack...please god now." She pleaded. Jack moved back up so their bodies were in line, his lips finding hers one more time for a bruising kiss. Jack leaned back slightly looking right into her eyes.  
  
"I didn't say it before, but I love you too." Jack said, before she could respond, his hand grasped her hip and raised her leg slightly as he guided himself into her. When he was totally encased in her, he stopped moving slowly, not wanting to end it. Little by little Jack moved himself back and forth, Sam's grip on his shoulders turning her knuckles white as he moved back and forth, gradually picking up momentum.  
  
Sam was lost in it all, Daniel could have walked in with the key to defeating the Goa'uld and she would not have noticed. She could feel herself reaching her peak, and so could Jack. Still moving together, Jack grasped her hips and rolled them so she was now on top, Sam finally screamed out loud as the new sensation hit her directly on her g-spot. Gaining some control and deciding to give Jack a show, she sat up slowly, displaying her self for him. Taking his hands, she began to take over, he had started this but she was going to finish it...many, many times.  
  
As the sun rose the two lay together, lightly touching, mumbling nothings to each other when Sam began to giggle.  
  
"Oh Colonel, that no giggling order still stands you know." Jack said rolling onto her.  
  
"Sorry, it just seems a little too good."  
  
"Well I thought it was very good myself." Jack said kissing her neck.  
  
"But that was like, porn good." Sam said.  
  
"Samantha Carter, are you telling me you watch those horrible movies?"  
  
"I borrowed one of yours to take to with me." Sam said in a smug tone.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Jack said running a hand up her thigh.  
  
"Oh please Jack, I don't think I could, not just yet." Sam said kissing him deeply.  
  
"Hey, no objections from me, I'm an old man here." Jack said moving off her again wrapping his arms around her.  
  
"Well if old men can do that with their tongues then I am sorry I wasted all that time on teenagers in my twenties." Sam said  
  
"Who are you? What have you done with Sam?" Jack said sitting up.  
  
"Jack, stop it." A blush rose in Sam's cheeks "He was 19, I was 24, and don't tell me you have not done something similar." Sam said pulling him back to her.

"Actually no." Jack said.  
  
"No?" Sam asked getting slightly embarrassed.  
  
"No, I was 18 she was 27." Jack said with a smirk.  
  
"You rat bastard!" Sam said hitting him before snuggling back into him. "We have to meet the guys later." She mumbled into his chest.  
  
"Sleep." Jack told her.  
  
"You too."  
  
"I will." Jack began to run his hand up and down her spine, the meaning of the action not going unnoticed by either of them.  
  
"You're meant to wake me up doing that." Sam said almost asleep.  
  
"Who says I'll stop?" Jack whispered to her kissing her hair.


	28. So here we are

A/N So this is it the last chapter and yes I have started a sequel! God I have so much I should be going right now but you know, I just can not tear my self away from this! Thank you all for being so positive about this and I promise to actually proof my stuff before I post it from now on!  
  
Shanks-Away!  
  
Captain-Doctor  
  
Sunday Afternoon  
  
"Wow." Daniel said.  
  
"Indeed." Teal'c added.  
  
"Well, you haven't called me crazy, I guess that's a good thing." Sam said.  
  
"Crazy is such a strong word." Jack said with a grin. Sam just glared then smiled herself.  
  
"I swear it happened, and there is so much we don't know." Sam said.  
  
"Old Brae is lucky Daniel here didn't pay him a visit, poor bastard would have kicked him out of the room." Jack said grabbing another beer.  
  
"Well it's absolutely fascinating. I mean, older than the ancients, the controllers of time, that fact that we are eventually going to reach a level similar to that." Daniel was almost giddy at the concept.  
  
"And our own Carter here is going to change the world." Jack said holding his drink up as a toast.  
  
"Colonel Carter, you said you had visitors while you were in this place, can you inform us as to who they were." Teal'c asked.  
  
"There were three actually. The first was my mom. She showed me the past." Sam said.  
  
"A trip down memory lane?" Jack asked lightly.  
  
"One I am happy to never take again. Some things are in the past for a reason," Sam said trying to once again forget the pain of the things her mother had showed her "and Janet was the one who brought me to you, showed me the present." Sam said lowering her head. No one said anything for a few moments. Daniel was the first to break the hushed spell.  
  
"It's good you got to see her again." He said.  
  
"It was," Sam said taking his hand "she says she misses us."  
  
"So you saw the past, present, I think its safe to assume that you were also shown the future?" Daniel asked eagerly.  
  
"Possible scenarios. I saw a few outcomes; some were good, some not so good. But I think we will be all right." Not caring that Daniel and Teal'c were there she reached over and claimed Jack's lips in brief kiss.  
"Who was it?" Daniel asked breaking their moment.  
  
"Who was who?" Jack said.  
  
"Who showed you the future?" Daniel asked again, bordering on sounding like a small child.  
  
"To tell you the truth I have no idea. She said she was from my reality, just further into it."  
  
"So someone form the future?" Jack asked.  
  
"Yeah." Sam replied.  
  
The two stood watching the four figures laugh over drinks, like they did not have the weight of saving the world regularly resting on their shoulders.  
  
"I thought she would have figured it out." One said.  
  
"Maybe she doesn't know how?" The second one said.  
  
"You gave her enough clues." The first one replied.  
  
"She is very smart, maybe she has and just does not want to startle him." Replied the other.  
  
"Well he is going to get very startled in three years time."  
  
"He'll be ready for it then."  
  
"Did it feel odd? Seeing yourself again?" The first asked.  
  
"A little, but after all the things I saw in my time it was easy to handle." The second replied.  
  
"Why did you choose to show her that particular moment?"  
  
"Well, I was happy, it did not reveal too much, and it was nice to relive such a nice memory, you don't get engaged everyday you know."  
  
"I see. You are the only person I have ever met to have named themselves." The first said with a chuckle.  
  
"Come on Brae, I have father to visit, and this is one journey I am going to have to plan incredibly well for." The woman said.  
  
"As you wish Kariella." Brae said holding out his hand. Kariella took one last look at her parents and two 'uncles' and took Brae's hand in her own to return to their own time and place.

A/N Well that's it folks! Now should I bother to keep posting fanfic or are you all just dieing to tell me to shut up!


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